Monday, May 3, 2010

Baby steps

I got some books on Wicca from the library.  Normally I wouldn't since most of them deal with coven-related or group ritual but these books are about solitary practice.  Both of them are written by Scott Cunningham and are guides for the solitary practitioner.  I'm not particularly drawn to Wicca but I am interested in learning all I can.  I'm more inclined toward Druidism but I tend to believe that magick is magick and the energies involved are the same so...

I haven't developed any real rituals yet.  I attend to my altar when I feel like I should, I talk to whoever I feel is listening at the time when I have something to say.  One of the things that is hard to get used to is not having to placate or massage the ego of a god who needs constant attention.  It's rather liberating but there is that habit that has formed over 56 years and it's not going to go away overnight.  I feel comfortable in the presence of the Lady, of Lugh, Brigid and Rhiannon.  And even the Lord although he seems more elusive to me.

I have high hopes of setting up my fairy garden this week.  Getting the rocks up the hill is mostly what is making me delay it since I don't want to overdo it after this nasty flu.  I'm anxious to get it done though and get busy with all my other outdoor planting.  Tomorrow I must read my Encyclopedia of Country Living and plant more wisely this year.  I'm tired of failing at everything I try to do.  Maybe I just need to not fly by the seat of my pants so much anymore.

Although I am more improvisational about my rituals.  One of the things I love about the Episcopal church is the ritual, the liturgy.  It's one of the things that keeps me there.  That and the people who are just wonderful.  Caring but not suffocating.  I do tend to see the ritual in a more pagan, ancient light though, especially considering the history of Christianity and how it melded with other religions in its inception.

Well, I do feel a need right now to go light some candles and meditate for a while, offering up some concerns for healing with people I've read about or know in person.  And then since I'm feeling better, I'm off to be creative again with some knitting.  This time a shawl for me.  I gave away my fire shawl to someone who needed it more than me so I'm knitting an earth shawl this time from a pattern on Ravelry called Helm's Deep.  The color is a dark sage green and the pattern calls up images of the mountains of Helm's Deep from Lord of the Rings so it's a perfect match.

Here's hoping that I can harness some energy from the blustery winds outside to help me return to productivity.  Darned fibromyalgia.

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