I had a bad dream last night. I don't normally remember my dreams but this one was so bad I can't forget it. In my dream I did serious harm to my dog, or rather I made my son do it. I made him cut Professor in half. I have no memory of why I thought this would be a good idea but at the time it did seem like it. Once the deed was done, I was horrified by what I did because he was trying to crawl away from me by using his front paws and I could tell that he was in pain. I gathered him up in a blanket and took him to a hospital (as it turned out...the human kind.) There was no blood or organs spilling out. Everything was neat and tidy, except he was in two pieces. And apparently his back legs were able to move as well.
The doctors were able to put him back together again and he was fine after that but I was afraid to see him because I knew he would hate me. The doctors never asked me what happened but I blurted out that Zach had been chopping firewood and Professor walked under the axe. So not only am I a monster for hurting my dog, I also laid the blame on my son.
I have no idea what all this means. I wonder if this has anything to do with me reading about the balance of light and dark in our spirits and the belief that both are needed for that balance. I just know I woke up feeling completely numb and in shock about what I seemed to be capable of doing.
I'm going to have to do some pondering on this but I hope very soon I can get that image out of my brain. I need some brain bleach or something.