This is almost like a spiritual retreat for me, preparing for Samhain. Tom is gone up north to be the mighty hunter this whole week so I have free reign to deep clean and discard (only his things that were previously agreed upon...I had an ex throw away childhood mementos, my high school diploma and all the stories and such I had written so I don't do that to anyone else!) and so create more positive space in this house. I plan on using this week to establish some new routines and rituals.
It's the best I can do.
The Goddess was good and provided some much needed funds in the way of payment for some socks I knitted for my aunt and that almost paid for Tom's trip. He told me to spend the money on myself but since my magick was directed toward relieving our funds due to this trip, I intend to honor that. And honor Tom for the effort he puts out there to provide for me and our son. Sometimes I think he got the rotten end of the stick due to my disability (one that I can't receive recompense for because I haven't worked in over 20 years.) But he plugs along and doesn't complain, even letting me spend money on myself when I know he really wants things for himself. So I don't begrudge him this trip. Besides, he might bring home fish or venison for the freezer so in a way it's an investment. And a gamble.
For my part, I am determined to put more effort into my hedge witchery and become a better manager of hearth and home. Less time doing frivolous things (although I'm not giving them up altogether because we need that in our lives.) Less wasted time. I'm using this week to develop those new habits.
I'm also going to dedicate part of the day working on Druidry because I really do feel that is my path. I discovered a lot of infornmation online that I can use to enhance my learning and help me on my spiritual path. I also have some classes I intend to take on OpenUniversity. I just need to organize my day better.
Not to mention doing my best toward Nature and all her many children. Frugality is often the best way to be more environmentally responsible. Besides, I love the challenge of making ends meet. Most of the time anyway.
I'm off to light some candles for Tina and Tana and if anyone out there feels so inclined, they could use any energy and positive/warm thoughts their way. Tina is facing a life-changing situation that is seriously affecting her disability (fibromyalgia, the same as me) among other things, and Tana is just wiped out emotionally. I'm not good at keeping my promises so I am trying hard to either not make them or keep the ones I can't refrain from making. I promised to light a candle for Tina every day until the situation is resolved. So far I've kept it. It's odd how not praying for someone never made me feel bad but when I promise to approach the Goddess on their behalf or light candles for them, I feel more pressure on myself to comply. I guess I take it more seriously. I wonder if it has to do with never feeling a connection through prayer as a Christian but I do feel that connection as a Pagan.
Also Inanna's sister is gravely ill and could use all the positive energy/prayer you can muster as well. I intend to include her in my daily candle lighting as well...both her and her sister.
I'm finally feeling comfortable using the word prayer, especially as I'm finding it in so many other religions besides the Abrahamic ones. Yet I still hesitate to think of things in Christianese...like prayer chain or prayer journal, etc. In fact, I hesitated before bringing up the people I know who could use prayer or candle-lighting or the sending of positive energy or however I need to think of it. It feels too much like the prayer requests on various forums or my old churches. It's my problem, though, and one I need to work through. In the mean time, there are people I know and care about who are hurting and need whatever it is the Universe has to offer in the way of comfort.
So I am off to bed to knit myself a hat for Zach and a sweater and poncho to keep me warm this winter. If I'm lucky. I may not be done before Imbolc at this rate.