I'm doing better today. Not reading there has really helped calm me down and I rarely thought about it all day. I had many things on my mind, mostly of a spiritual nature. Getting ready for Alban Elfed (Autumn Equinox) was one thing. Getting things done and working on my creativity and brain cells another. I got neither done today but I did get a load of clothes done and cleaned out the car. And picked up my meds from the pharmacy and returned some books (and picked some up) from the library. I'm so well known there that when I walked up to the counter, before she even looked at my account, she told me I had a movie on hold in the back. They see so many people in the course of a day I can't imagine how they could remember someone by name.
To be honest, it made me feel special.
Zach and I talked today about getting outside more, taking walks and connecting with Nature more, especially as the weather is so lovely these days. Cool but not cold. There is a tang of Autumn in the air, for sure.
I told my guys not to get me anything for my birthday. I had bought Firefly last week (there were only a few left and I missed out once before on a series I really wanted) and I have nothing I want or need right now. Zach thinks Tom will insist so I told him to go to the Dollar Store and get me some candles or incense. That will do nicely.
I'm hoping to finish up my doily/altar cloth this weekend so I can decorate my altar for the last harvest and in preparation for Samhain. I'm so excited about Samhain this year because we can celebrate openly. I have plans to make some corn dollies and I bought some clay (albeit polymer...can't afford the real stuff right now) to make a Goddess statue. I haven't got a clear image of who she is just yet so I'm waiting for that.
I think I'm also ready to start looking into spellwork now. I often think of myself as a hedge witch (though not Wiccan) but I hate to just jump in and start doing things without understanding the energy and nature behind them. I'm feeling more comfortable now but still very wary about going beyond my capabilities. Mostly I've just done visualizing with fairly good effect. I'm about ready to do a real spell now. In my own time though.
Well, it's time to get into bed and work on my altar cloth and watch some tv. I plan to burn some incense later and have some quality time with Lugh and the Goddesses later. I had thought about making a statue of him and covering it with a black cloth for the winter. I'm not sure yet. I'll think about that some more. I have enough clay for both.
I think things are looking up for me. I do tend to thrive during the winter months. We'll see if that holds true this year as well.