Sunday, March 20, 2011

No more rules for me, thank you

I went back to the thrift store today because there were a few extra books I thought I would get now that I've got a bookcase set up.  I got Asimov's Foundation trilogy, The Glass Inferno (one of the books The Towering Inferno was based on...the other was The Tower) and a Terry Pratchett Discworld book.  Can't think of the title just now.  I'm doing so much more reading than knitting these days but I'm not questioning it.  I go where the awen leads me and if it's into writing, then that's where I'll go.  And for me reading always leads to writing.

Tom stayed overnight with his sister because he was too tired to drive home.  The phone rang at 1:17 a.m. and brought my heart up into my throat but better he calls than me sit up all night worrying.

Not that I slept.  Between the two pets, I only got bits and snatches of sleep.  Professor wanted out three times only to stand on the porch and refuse to go out in the rain.  One time he woke me up to play ball with him.  Hannibal, as cats do, wanted to curl up in my arms and took...I kid you not...10 minutes deciding which position suited him better, only to then keep tapping me on the cheek with his claw-extended paw every few seconds.

I plan on going to bed early tonight.

I do plan on having a quiet, personal Ostara/vernal equinox ritual tonight.  I don't feel a need to go all out as we did a really powerful full moon ritual last night, at least for me.  I looked to see if I could find any egg candles at the thrift store but didn't succeed.  Any of the other eggs they have aren't as nice as the egg my mother-in-law gave me years ago, but I don't feel like digging through the mess upstairs to dig it out.  I have my silk daisies and chrysanthemums for color and that's enough.

I should get a picture of my various altars but I'm going to wait until the house is clean first.  My personal altar has really gotten more elaborate since adding the mirror behind the nightstand.  They're from Japan, bought when we were stationed on Guam.  The mirror actually goes with the dresser which is upstairs in Tom's room but the mirrors are too tall for the garret-like ceiling up there so I've used them on the nightstands.  Hopefully next week I'll have pictures.

I was reading a Pagan message board today where this one girl called herself a Nordic Wiccan only to be shot down by someone who let her know in no uncertain terms that there is no such thing.  Then she and another poster patted each other on the back for their insistence on letting these people know you can't mix pantheons and you can't steal other people's religions because without the Lord and the Lady, there is no Wicca.  Then the first poster basically just said bite me in the nicest way, and the other two were so busy priding themselves they didn't notice.  I laughed my ass off.

The thing I took away from this was I just didn't care.  I would have let it bother me that I might be doing something wrong or that there was someone out there policing the way Pagans worship.  Today I just thought, meh...their problem, not mine.  I know who calls me and who answers when I call and it's not their fucking business how I manage my spiritual life.

But honestly, I don't get involved in conversations like that. Except with myself.  And I no longer try to win the argument with myself; I just let us both win.  I really like it that I feel a connection with two (or more) pantheons.  I feel spiritually blessed not limiting my deities or feeling I need to be one or the other.  A song kept running through my mind when I was struggling this.  It's an oldie called Torn between Two Lovers and the chorus goes:

Torn between two lovers,
Feeling like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules.

Except I wasn't breaking any rules.  I mean who made up the rules anyway?  I had my fill of rules when I was in a religion that used them to keep the adherents captive.  Now that I'm free, I don't need no stinking rules.

So I actually still have an altar for the threshold that is dedicated to both Zeus and Cernunnos and they both seem to get along just fine.  I call upon Hestia as much as I call upon Brigid...I just seem to know when to call one or the other.  And so far my blended family of God/desses get along beautifully.

And when praying for Japan last night, we called upon the Japanese God/desses as well, although not by name as I'm not familiar with them, because who better to call to protect and rescue the Japanese people but their own God/desses?

Anyway...I'm off to bed to read for a bit before having tonight's ritual.  And to study as well. 

Have a blessed Ostara/Vernal Equinox, everyone!


  1. "I know who calls me and who answers when I call and it's not their fucking business how I manage my spiritual life."

    Hello? Are we fucking related?


  2. Awesome. God almighty, I'm so sick and tired of people trying to fucking drive other people's buses. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BUS if you don't trust me to drive it. It's really that simple. What with the Rob Bell controversy (which is hilarious if you ask me) and varying other arguments I see people engage in online, I have realized I don't have the patience or energy to fight with them. The self-congratulatory nature really make me queasy too. So best I just stay out of the fray.

  3. Oh, and blessed and happy Ostara to you. :)

  4. Thanks so much, everyone!

    Tana, the Rob Bell controversy really pissed me off and made me doubly glad I had left Christianity, but I did feel for those who were caught in the middle of it. I mean, are they so married to their own doctrines that there is no room to look at it for any error? And to attack him before they had even read the book? I'm sorry, but that is so typical of the fundies...deciding what something says because someone told them what it says rather than actually reading it themselves.

    I don't know how you do it, but I admire you for staying with Christianity. Although I suspect they would attack your version of it as vehemently as they did Bell's.