Friday, March 11, 2011

Hawks and owls

I have epiphanies.  Well, truthfully, I think I have epiphanies.  I'm not sure what they are because they frequently contradict themselves.  Maybe I'm just crap at figuring out what the epiphanies are.  Or I'm not really having them.  Maybe they're just brain farts.

Anyhoo...I was driving home from my millionth trip to town this week and saw a hawk on a power wire.  I have seen many a hawk, even on power wires so I don't know why this particular one made me feel like I'd touched raw electricity, but it did.

It's not even been a while since I've seen one, albeit not on a power line so I can't figure out why this one made me feel like someone was peeking into my soul.

My first thought was...what made me think the woman in my dream was Athena?  Well, the owl silly.  And she said to come home.  So...duh!

Except owls can mean other things and come home can mean something different, too.

All the way home I couldn't get it out of my head that maybe that wasn't Athena, so I pondered what was going on in my life and how my spiritual life was doing.  Truthfully, I was stagnating.  Seriously stagnating.  Now, I loved performing daily devotions to the Greek God/desses.  Loved the mythology even though I'm still not sure what to do with it.  But there wasn't a spiritual bone in my body anymore.  I was just in love with the ritual.

I realized that I wasn't interested in knitting, crafting, my crystals, herbs, nature...nothing.  I wasn't even particularly interested in the gods themselves.  I just liked doing the rituals.

So I looked up the owl in connection with Celtic mythology and found that the owl has been associated with the spiritual and the magical.  It's also a guide to the otherworld.  So who was the goddess who was calling me home?  Not a clue. But I wonder if her identity wasn't important.  That the message was.

But you would think these deities would make their messages a little more clear, wouldn't you?

Or at least give me a clue.

Or maybe they did.

I'm not sure what to do right now, but I do know that I was a much more spiritual person before I flirted with the Greek pantheon.  Not their fault, of course.  But it does answer a lot of unasked questions about my occasional longing to go back to church.  It was the ritual, not the deities.

I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that I don't want to feel hollow anymore.

I swear that hawk looked right into my eyes, but I could be wrong.  At any rate, I intend to look a little deeper into myself and find the answer I've been keeping hidden.

It's got to be there somewhere.

edit:  and apparently the hawk is the messenger between the physical and spiritual worlds.  Do I need a bigger kick in the ass?


  1. I have to great books by Ted Andrews that have come in handy countless times when it comes to Animal messengers. Personally, I find that first instint you feel when having that encounter is the one you are meant to receive. If I'm still questioning myself, I will crack one of his books open, crack my mind open and ask my guides to let the words I need to experience most make themselves known to me.

    As for Deity's associated with Owls...Hecate and Lilith are the two that stand out to me.

  2. I didn't know that. Hecate has seemed to figure in my Celtic path for a long time, but in the Greek...not at all. I think you're right. That makes perfect sense to me. I really felt a connection to her until I walked down a different path.

    Another thing occurred to me was that while I was still on the Celtic path, my practices were Greek. It makes sense to me now that Hecate might have been telling me to come back to spirituality and magic. But I heard it as something I really wanted in the first place. At least I wanted it then. Now, I want my spirituality back. And the magick that goes with it.

    I bought a Pagan prayer book online, because I really do like pre-written prayers, but I nearly bought Ted Andrews book as well. I might have to do that next month. In the past I seriously had many animal encounters. Since exploring Greek, hardly any. My birds aren't even at the feeders anymore. Of course...there isn't any food in them, so that might be why.