Friday, December 17, 2010

Feeling good about things

No pictures so far as it's been gloomy outside and I haven't opened up any curtains yet.  It's dark in here with my insulated, room-darkening curtains.  But cozy.

I've been doing some studying of late and then I have to take a day or two to ponder what I've read.  If I am able to remember it.  Darned memory problems.  I'm feeling good about the direction my spirituality is taking and I'm learning more and more about myself. 

I've discovered that I tend to be unaware of a lot of what goes on around me.  And in me.  I seem to be drifting a lot.  I've been trying to focus more and I think I'm making progress.  I'm feeling good about that.

I'm trying to make my preparations for Yule now instead of waiting until Yule to throw something together.  Feeling good about that, too.  I think my path is leading me to a blend of Druidry and Wicca.  I'm more comfortable with the Celtic pantheon rather than the Lord and the Lady but I'm also more comfortable with the rituals of Wicca rather than the Druid rituals.  So I'm feeling good about that, too.

On the other hand, I'm having a hard time with the Christianists I'm running into of late, or the ones who are messing with friends.  It's becoming more and more obvious to me that their brand of Christianity is so manipulative and so controlling as to be dangerous to the well-being of a lot of people I care about.  Unfortunately their brand is the one most widely practiced.  I'd love to go kick someone's mother's ass for her for being such a jerk to my friend, but since I don't know her and she's nowhere near me, I'll have to do it in my imagination.

I had an odd experience the night Jon (the kid who killed himself) died.  I had a dream...well, I'm not sure it was a dream, that I was in his parents' house, just walking through.  It was dark with some light from the outside street lights showing in through the curtains so it was a very black and white atmosphere.  I walked a short ways up the stairs into the living room and stopped in front of the kitchen, then I was back in my dream again.  The thing is, I felt awake, and aware of what I was doing.  The furniture was arranged a bit differently from when I was there last (several years ago) but I felt more like I was really there instead of dreaming about being there.  I was aware I was in my bed but I didn't feel asleep.  In fact, when I left the house, I laid awake in my bed for a while pondering it.  I had done this a long time ago when I was in the Navy and was involved in what we called white witchcraft then.  They called it shadow walking then.  I'm not sure what happened but it didn't feel like a dream.

At any rate, I'll try to get pictures of my altars soon.  If the sun doesn't shine soon, I'll try to arrange the lighting so I can get some taken.

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