Monday, January 3, 2011

How hard to watch your children struggle

I went out to refill the bird feeder this morning and a beautiful finch was sitting on the gate under the feeders, totally unconcerned about my presence.  He even turned and looked at me and didn't fly away (I was talking to him as I walked up there) until I was about a foot away.  It was a wonderful experience.

Had lunch with Zach today and he expressed concern at his feelings of paralysis spiritually.  He finds himself drawn to dragons.  Has been all his life.  Found a book about dragon spirituality that really resonated with him, got halfway through and he just couldn't read anymore.  He's so afraid of feeling foolish that he's paralyzed with inaction spiritually. 

I suggested he clean his room first and foremost.  It's complete chaos, no floor space, no organization at all.  I said I would help him and then he can establish an altar that is essentially pleasing to the eye.  Nothing more at this stage.  Then I told him to spend some time in quiet just listening to his thoughts. Not directing them, not meditating, just watching where they go.  Then he can think about dragons and how he feels about them.  He was so involved in our pentecostal church, speaking in tongues, speaking the Word in church and feels that he was just playacting so he's afraid that's what he's doing now.  I said it doesn't matter if it came from within him and not from a supernatural source.  But for now he's feeling foolish for buying into all of it and is afraid of doing the same in a Pagan sense.

I do believe dragons are his path as he's been drawn to them since he was a toddler.  I'll just be patient and as helpful as I can and hope his heart and soul can heal from the damage done to him.

Blessed be


  1. Taking it slow is wise advice, Mom -- and so is cleaning his room!

  2. Oh my gosh, I can relate. For a while there I was feeling drawn to X and then a week later I was telling my friend, L, "It's all bullshit! All of it!" And then I would be drawn back...and then, BS. Back and forth, back and forth. And about multiple aspects too.

    I think the biggest hurdle for me has been learning to trust myself. Tell Zack I'm thinking of him.

  3.'s like bootcamp for the soul. I've learned so many lessons from my Littleman.

    Deb is right, taking it slow is good advice momma.

  4. Thanks so much. Now if I can just take my own advice. I'm getting comfortable with a slower journey, which is so new to me, but at times I want to chuck it all and just do nothing.

    Tana, I've been there and done that and own the t-shirt. At times I still struggle with the whole idea of religion as a silly exercise, but I think that's the pain speaking. And as previously noted, I still have a pull back to the church at times. Not as a believer, but as a participant. Odd that.