Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Feeling more optimistic

I'm feeling a bit cheerier today.  More cheery?  Whatever.  I feel more optimistic about my spiritual life.  And I gave myself permission to take a nap today instead of pushing past the fatigue and being miserable the whole day.

I haven't done any studying today but I feel more like it, more like engaging my brain and my spiritual muscles.  That's always a good sign.  I'll probably get a few pages in tonight and hope to get back to some daily candle lighting and meditating tomorrow.

I had hoped to stay home tomorrow but the yarn I needed and bought didn't make it home with me tonight.  The bag fell out of the cart on the way to the parking lot but I thought I picked everything up.  Apparently not.  It's another thing I tend to beat myself up over, not paying enough attention when I'm out and about.  I'll just go back tomorrow and get more yarn to make plenty of dishcloths for my mother so she can give them out as gifts.  She always feels obliged to give out gifts, little ones, to just about everyone so I'm trying to help her out a bit.  Plus I love knitting them.  I can turn those out at 3 or 4 a day if I'm not interrupted much.  And I've got the yarn to do it.

I'm feeling more and more convinced I made the right decision to embrace Paganism. As time goes by, I feel no regrets and only relief and a huge lessening of that burden on my shoulders.  I ran into someone from my old fundie church today at the store and didn't feel like hiding or avoiding her at all.  We never even talked about God or Jesus or anything like that.  We talked about the job we both shared there (props and decorations and set design) and how people don't take care of stuff.  LOL  I loved it that we still had things in common.

I'm almost ready to decorate my altar for Yule.  I won't be putting the tree up just yet as the house is small and decorations bore me after a while but I don't seem to get tired of my altar decorations.  Odd that.  Especially since my house is decorated right now with wet clothes drying on racks.  It's that time of year.  It would be nice to have them in front of a roaring fire but as we have no fire place (or room to put one) I settle for heating vents.  Which means the racks tend to be in the way a lot.  Good thing they're lightweight and movable.

Off to finish cooking supper and then I'm crawling into my pajamas (of sorts) to knit some dishcloths with what I've got.  I should get a few done before bedtime.

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