Monday, October 29, 2012

Cleaning, clearing and letting things go

I'm taking a short break from turning my bedroom back into a living room because as it was, the heating vent won't work efficiently and it's getting to be that time of year.  But fortunately my altar doesn't need to be moved at all and will be opposite my bed/couch from now on.  The hardest work is done but the hardest part for me is finding a place for everything.

I'm doing fairly well without a clear direction for now.  I haven't really done much magick but I am focusing more on it than on the gods and that feels right.  For now.  I light the candle in the kitchen and either call upon the house spirits or just light the candle and incense and have a moment of quiet reflection.  Both feel really good.  It most likely will stay that way as I have yet to find a hearth goddess I can really identify with.  Most of them are way too efficient for me.

I've had some overtures from the Morrigan and Cernunnos and have acknowledged them but I don't really pray to them much.  Just honoring them at the altar.  Mostly it's just about quiet reflection and a lot of thinking.  Something that really hurts my brain these days.  I am looking forward to Samhain although I don't know just yet how I will celebrate it.  Most of my energy is being put toward winterizing the house and trying to find some kind of organization.  Getting rid of things that we never use or never will use is the hardest part.

Whatever I end up with, even if it's an amalgamation of pantheons, it will be mine and I won't care a fig if someone else thinks I've offended their gods or their practices.  I've kind of had it up to here with people being mean to others because they don't think others are "doing it right."  On a pagan group on facebook that consists of pagans from my neck of the woods, someone posted about her girlfriend and how she didn't have a problem with the poster's pagan beliefs in spite of the girlfriend being a Christian.  A heathen took umbrage and went nuts, calling our group nothing but a Christian-lite group and how she was a real heathen and didn't like it there.  She would have made a good Christian fundamentalist.  She already has the behavior down to a science.

But...I'm learning to let things like that go.  I still frequent all the different pagan groups and read different pagan blogs, but only the ones who are fun and educational.  Not the ones who like to claim the moral high ground.

Well, the living room is screaming at me to finish so we can go grab a bite to eat.  I've only had a bowl of oatmeal so far today so I'm getting a bit hungry.  Off to finish up the fine tuning.


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