I had an epiphany last night during an episode of insomnia that I don't like myself much while worshiping either the Greeks or the Norse. I become someone I'm not comfortable with, not focusing on the things I want to work on, but instead putting all my energies into the deities themselves. Exactly as I did as a Christian.
So...I'm kicking everyone out for a while and going to focus on magic and divination and whatever else interests me. Whatever gods come with that can stay. Otherwise they're getting the boot and not allowed in again. I'm tired of being pulled in every direction. So I choose my own direction.
I've done a lot of reasoning, especially talking it all out with Zach who is great to bounce ideas off of, and made this decision. He struggles from the same indecision and has gone through it so he can relate.
One of my biggest problems is I detest the influence Christianity has had on various pagan religions, in that they rewrote the myths and destroyed any information they didn't want passed on so I have been avoiding anything that had that taint. What I really need to do (and this is from Zach) is to give that influence complete unimportance to the direction I want to take. It shouldn't matter at all to me what they did. So I will be working on that as well. I give Christianity far too much importance in my life. I need to let go of my past and just move on.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the build up to Halloween and Samhain and am looking forward to both. One of my favorite times of the year.
So...I'm kicking everyone out for a while and going to focus on magic and divination and whatever else interests me. Whatever gods come with that can stay. Otherwise they're getting the boot and not allowed in again. I'm tired of being pulled in every direction. So I choose my own direction.
I've done a lot of reasoning, especially talking it all out with Zach who is great to bounce ideas off of, and made this decision. He struggles from the same indecision and has gone through it so he can relate.
One of my biggest problems is I detest the influence Christianity has had on various pagan religions, in that they rewrote the myths and destroyed any information they didn't want passed on so I have been avoiding anything that had that taint. What I really need to do (and this is from Zach) is to give that influence complete unimportance to the direction I want to take. It shouldn't matter at all to me what they did. So I will be working on that as well. I give Christianity far too much importance in my life. I need to let go of my past and just move on.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the build up to Halloween and Samhain and am looking forward to both. One of my favorite times of the year.
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