Tuesday, October 23, 2012

In spite of the fatigue...

...I'm still feeling the love from Olympus.  Last night I called upon Zeus, which I rarely ever do and felt a very physical connection there, as well as one today with Hera.  Most days I do connect with Hestia although today in my mind-numbing tiredness, I couldn't find that connection.

I'm doing well to avoid the pitfalls I fell into last time around.  I don't feel like I have to do it the right way in order to worship the gods.  Which, for me, is a near-miracle.  I'm finding balance between worship and magic and I think in the end, both will be connected to the Greeks.  I just don't see a conflict there at all.

Miasma is the notion that there are times when we're ritually impure and can't approach the gods but I can't imagine them turning me away because I didn't shower ahead of times.  I do wash my face and hands in the morning and before any ritual.  And not wanting to be mistaken for Medusa, I tend to brush my near-waist length hair (thin though it be) but beyond that, I don't dress up.  Nor do I feel the need to do the "heels and hose" route I ran into in my Christian days.  I remember being told frequently that one has to dress up for "God" as a show of respect and if you don't, he'll take it as an insult.  I just don't buy the notion that I have to impress the gods.  They know me better than I know myself.  Any pretense will be obvious, very quickly.

So I don't buy into the miasma thing.  Granted, I would probably clean up a bit after spending an afternoon cleaning the basement, but I'm not showering a few times a day just to approach the gods.

I also don't buy into orthopraxy.  I remember reading somewhere that if we use the wrong hand gesture or use it in the wrong place, we're supposed to start the ritual over again because the gods don't care how we feel about them, or whether we get the beliefs right as long as we just do the rituals right.  Yeah...not buying that either.

Fortunately I found a few blogs that feel as I do about the gods and have gotten some good direction from them about it. 

Tonight I plan to call upon Hera as there is a need for a friend.  I don't believe I need to offer expensive gifts to them in exchange for their favors.  Sounds a bit like prostitution, in my mind.  But I will offer my better incense for special occasions and sometimes a libation of something special.  Which I don't have right now so incense will do.

I'm looking forward to Samhain although it will be celebrated in my own way with a Greek flavor to the honoring of the ancestors.  I have problems honoring my most recent ancestors as they were either Christian or atheist and I can't imagine them enjoying being part of a pagan ritual.  But I can connect with the ancients even if I don't know them.  And I can honor my recent ancestors without making them a part of the ritual.

Off to bed to knit on my new granddaughter's blanket and sweater, even if I'm not a part of her life.  I can accept my daughter's limitations without bitterness or unhappiness.  She's doing what she needs to do to make herself whole and I was a crappy mother to her.  No doubt about it.

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