I don't talk about everything going on with me so that leaves some holes when things change. I've been saying that my Norse path was just fine and I was settling in but I was really having problems that I thought would go away if I didn't acknowledge them. Various things like the Norse myths not resonating with me, not getting to know the gods at all, feeling like I had a heavy burden on my shoulders because I didn't fit in anywhere. Having trouble with the vernacular. Plus it wasn't enough to walk my own path; it was the affiliations with that path that were dragging me down. I didn't want to be on a path I felt I had to explain and apologize for...specifically the racist affiliations. It may very well be that most heathens aren't racist but I've noticed some gray areas that exist among some that claim they're not. And I just couldn't be affiliated with them when it's hard to differentiate sometimes.
The Greeks had been bugging me for a while and initially I wasn't tempted until I realized that the only reason I was sticking with the Norse was because I spent a butt-load of money on books about them. Being the frugal-minded person I am, I was determined not to waste the money I spent on them.
But the bottom line is that the only myths that resonate with me are the Greek ones and the only gods I really know are Greek. I surrendered to the inevitable, put away my Norse stuff and brought out my Greek things. I was a bit amazed at how many books I have that can be used in worship. Not to mention the statuettes of animal representations of the gods. I did buy a bitty little rooster today for $3 for my altar to represent Hermes. I have a rooster picture over my threshold altar that I never changed out. I guess that was telling me something.
My altar felt lighter somehow. As did I. I know I've been down this path before, finding what I perceive to be my path, getting all excited about it and then weeks later feeling glum and unhappy. I'm aware that this might now pan out either but it was good to touch bases with my beloved Persephone again. And Hecate. And Hermes, Apollo and the rest of the Olympic deities.
I'll take a picture of the changes tomorrow including my hearth altar to Hestia and my threshold altar to Hermes.
We'll see how it goes but for now this is the path I'm walking. We'll see if this changes, too. I do recognize the things I did wrong before when I walked this path as I was still in my all or nothing phase. Maybe I just had to see what all was out there before I could decide. Who knows?
At any rate, I'm definitely not walking a recon path or one that revolves only around the Greek festivals. And magic will be a part of my life in spite of some on this path who believe it was forbidden by the gods. I get a different message from them and since they are the ones I am interested in pleasing, they are the ones I will listen to. I feel more relaxed this time around but I'm not going to speak in absolutes because I have no idea what the future holds.
In the meantime, I'm content. I don't have to focus on learning who the gods are as much since I've known them since I was a child. Instead I can focus on learning the arts of magic and divination and whatever else I need to learn. I'm sure I need an adult's understanding of them, but I suspect that will happen naturally if I just let it.
The Greeks had been bugging me for a while and initially I wasn't tempted until I realized that the only reason I was sticking with the Norse was because I spent a butt-load of money on books about them. Being the frugal-minded person I am, I was determined not to waste the money I spent on them.
But the bottom line is that the only myths that resonate with me are the Greek ones and the only gods I really know are Greek. I surrendered to the inevitable, put away my Norse stuff and brought out my Greek things. I was a bit amazed at how many books I have that can be used in worship. Not to mention the statuettes of animal representations of the gods. I did buy a bitty little rooster today for $3 for my altar to represent Hermes. I have a rooster picture over my threshold altar that I never changed out. I guess that was telling me something.
My altar felt lighter somehow. As did I. I know I've been down this path before, finding what I perceive to be my path, getting all excited about it and then weeks later feeling glum and unhappy. I'm aware that this might now pan out either but it was good to touch bases with my beloved Persephone again. And Hecate. And Hermes, Apollo and the rest of the Olympic deities.
I'll take a picture of the changes tomorrow including my hearth altar to Hestia and my threshold altar to Hermes.
We'll see how it goes but for now this is the path I'm walking. We'll see if this changes, too. I do recognize the things I did wrong before when I walked this path as I was still in my all or nothing phase. Maybe I just had to see what all was out there before I could decide. Who knows?
At any rate, I'm definitely not walking a recon path or one that revolves only around the Greek festivals. And magic will be a part of my life in spite of some on this path who believe it was forbidden by the gods. I get a different message from them and since they are the ones I am interested in pleasing, they are the ones I will listen to. I feel more relaxed this time around but I'm not going to speak in absolutes because I have no idea what the future holds.
In the meantime, I'm content. I don't have to focus on learning who the gods are as much since I've known them since I was a child. Instead I can focus on learning the arts of magic and divination and whatever else I need to learn. I'm sure I need an adult's understanding of them, but I suspect that will happen naturally if I just let it.
My friend and I were talking the other day about how it seems that that old phrase about new things becoming old and old things becoming new no longer applies to, well, anything. At least, that was our experience. Especially in matters of health and spirituality. It's been very strange. It feels like a new dimension is rambling toward us where nothing we've ever done or tried before will work which means utter and total surrender. Which is scary.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I don't know if that resonates with you. :)
Surrender! Exactly what it felt like. Although I have had a tendency to recycle old and new things over and over again, I think the fact that I've been wavering over two choices for a while means I had to make a choice. I just hope I've made a choice and am not simply wavering in one direction again. That's scary as well.
DeleteIt was odd because my final conversation with the Norse gods was a break up speech. I hadn't done that before so maybe I have found my path finally.
Your statement about a new dimension rambling toward us seems eerily prescient and frightening at the same time, but in a way...exciting.
I never went looking for gods- I was content to deal with the energy fields around me and the local spirits, I was more of a pantheistic seawitch than anything else. The Hellenic gods found me. I can't imagine that they really have that big of a problem with magic.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they do either. I found a free book on kindle about Hecate and the author (I'll get the title and author later) said her research showed that our view of magic and the ancients' view of magic are totally different. To them magic was more in the line of curses and such. They actually did what we view as magic but didn't call it such.
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