Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Biding my time...comfortably

My remaining two books should arrive tomorrow so the next month should be full of good reading and lots of learning.  I'm trying to do this the right way, not jumping in with both feet, letting myself absorb the information before committing.  Still, it feels comfortable in a way that nothing has up to this point (and not saying that something might not feel more comfortable later on) so I'm just building on that for now.

Aside from one moment of powerful connection, I haven't sought another moment like that again.  It's not that I'm afraid.  I'm just taking my time and working through this relationship with the gods more slowly.  And it feels right to do it that way.  I still know little about them and little about the Norse path although I am learning more each day.  I do pray to Frigg each morning and light a candle and incense but I haven't found that connection yet.  Mostly it's me holding back. 

I'll admit that while I didn't mind the Greeks packing up and leaving in the middle of the night, it has created a bit of uncertainty for me that the Norse might do the same thing.  So I suppose that's one reason for not jumping in and embracing the gods wholeheartedly.  But it's more than that.  I just want to know them.  Really know them.  Instead of just going through the motions of ritual while I get to know them.  My house doesn't seem "full" of the gods like it did with the Greeks, but it doesn't feel empty either, like it did when the Greeks packed up and left.  There is a definite presence here.  It feels good not to feel alone.

So I learn and grow and grow closer, I hope, to the gods.  The few gods I know a little bit about I already have a fondness for.  And the connection will either grow or it won't and there's nothing I can do to make it happen.  But I have this feeling, deep down inside, that it will grow.  I kind of like it that they haven't brought their luggage.  It feels more like they're working on the relationship, too.  Not just barging in and expecting it to happen overnight.

I am looking forward to this.