Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Whispers, hawks and a flounce

Today was a lovely day with sunshine and temps near 50F.  I refilled the bird feeders and split the pomegranate and left it on my outdoor altar.  With thanks to Persephone.

I tried to do a full moon ritual last night but I was pretty distracted and just couldn't really enjoy it. So I just lit the candles, took my spirit beads to bed with me and just watched the pretty fire.  (I also watched Howl's Moving Castle and the witch keeps talking about the pretty fire in it so that's where my mind is right now.)  I was unable to do any studying or anything because I lacked the ability to concentrate...part and parcel of the fibromyalgia, unfortunately.  It's not all the time, but when I'm hurting or terribly fatigued, I just can't retain anything I read.  Or watch.

I saw a hawk today while I was outside.  Normally I have to go out of town to see them in the sky but we do live on the edge of town so it wasn't terribly unusual.  Still, it felt like a sign that I am on the right path.  I feel very good about returning to Druidry while keeping the Greek gods although if that changes, I'm okay with that, too.  When invoking the hearth this morning, I thought I heard Brighid in the background.  I hadn't called Hestia by name, but rather invoked the Goddess of Hearth and Home.  I wonder if it's like dialing a number and whoever answers is the one you're speaking to.

Anyway, if the Celtic gods want to come for a visit, they're more than welcome.  And if the Greeks decide to take a vacation, who's going to stop them, eh?

I wonder if maybe I should have taken a de-tox from all religion after leaving Christianity to give myself a cleansed palate, so to speak, before tasting what the other gods had to offer.  Too late now to change that, but I'm not going to deal in absolutes anymore.  Whatever happens, happens.  But I'm keeping the blog title no matter what.  LOL!

Pan has been whispering in my ear the past day or so.  I think I'll change out my raven/pentacle for the Green Man pendant for a few days.  He's the reason I really reconsidered and decided to give Druidry another chance.  He's let me know that I'm no city girl and that Nature has my number and intends to call.  Frequently.  But for reasons that I can't fathom, Artemis has given me the cold shoulder and did a flounce after the full moon ritual last night.  It was very unsettling but keeping her against her will isn't something I'd ever do so if she comes back, she does.  If not, I wish her well but my journey continues with or without her.  Maybe it was something I said or the ritual wasn't done well or maybe she's not crazy about me combining Druidry and Greek polytheism.  Whatever the reason, I didn't lose any sleep over it.  I'll be honest...I've never felt a strong connection with her anyway.  I did try, thinking that she would be my connection to nature, but she was always a bit aloof.  And I suppose she didn't like being invoked for a full moon ritual anyway.  Next time, I'll call Selene.

My time of groveling before the gods is over.  Doesn't mean I don't owe them respect and honor, but never again will I be a doormat for any deity.  I don't set myself on the same level as the gods, but neither do I expect them to walk all over me.

Just sayin;'.


4 comments:

  1. This is a great post! Love the idea that "whoever answers the telephone is who you're talking to."

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  2. Thanks! I'm learning not to live within a box. It's very liberating, but hard to do initially. :)

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  3. When Pan whispers into my ear.....I gets the good kinda chills ; )

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  4. I know what you mean. I think he was with me throughout my Celtic phase, only as Cernnunos. In fact, when every I read or hear about Cernnunos I always think of Pan. I listened to an Druidcast with Ronald Hutton talking about the history of Pan and one of his altars in France, I believe, had the name Cernnunos on it. So that was perhaps one of his ancient names.

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