Monday, January 16, 2012

Trying to break out of that shell

A different kind of Hestia answered today when I invoked the hearth goddess.  Initially I thought it was Brighid, but now I think it's still Hestia, but as she really is and not as I have pictured her.  I do tend to view her as pristine, virginal and aloof.  The goddess who answered today was more down-to-earth and showed more tenderness and understanding about the difficulty in keeping house with limitations.  It's the first time I've felt that kind of compassion from her.  And it comes after a weekend when I had to work with extreme fatigue in preparing a house for company.  Then, too, maybe my feeble attempts at hospitality spoke to her and we made a connection that way.

I know that the Greeks feel very strongly about hospitality.  It's a big issue, making someone feel welcome and at home.  This has been an internal struggle for me, a recluse and social misfit, trying to open up my home and my self to "invaders."  It worked out very well, actually and while I could only do my best, and with Tom's schedule, do it mostly on my own, I do feel like I did a much better job than I have done in the past several years.

I even showed my altar to my sister-in-law, who while being an atheist, is very sympathetic to the spiritual journeys of people around her.  Although I really was obnoxious about my journey through fundamentalist Christianity.  We did talk about my reasons for leaving but not so much about where I was traveling now.  She loved my crystals and stones and my Starry Night print.  She has her own spiritual connection with Nature, even as an atheist, which I find very beautiful.  We did some bridge-building this weekend and maybe in the future, if I can manage to leave home again, we'll do something together, as couples.

I was invited to an Imbolc festival at Circle Sanctuary with the Madison Area Pagans.  It's an afternoon event so I might go.  If Zach will go with me.  I know nothing about group rituals but I am eager to learn.  I haven't actually met with anyone from the group yet because I haven't made any meetups yet.  Zach's D&D game was on Saturday night so we couldn't go.  If I can get past the sheer terror of going someplace new I will definitely attend.  Tom is encouraging me to go.  He can't get off work or else he would take me there.

I am more comfortable with this dual path than I had thought I would be.  Maybe it's not real Hellenic Polytheism, but I'm okay with that.  I'm beginning to think of myself as more of a Hellenic Druid anyway.  It's my path; I can call it what I want. :) 

It's getting dark and I need to refill the bird feeders before I shut down for the night.



  1. I bet you'd love the Imbolc Festival! I hope you go and check it out.

  2. I'm pretty sure I would love it but it's about a 2 hour drive from here and weather this time of year is pretty dicey. Plus I don't know exactly how to get there. It would be nice to attend though.