Thursday, June 9, 2011

Catching up

I'm getting there.  We had a miserable heat wave that left me sweating and lethargic, unable to sleep and coveting our neighbor's air conditioner.  But the temps are now in the low 50s and it's great!  I even have a few windows open to enjoy it.  How odd that the temps are lower than I kept the house in the winter and we bundled up for it. 

I rearranged the house yesterday, giving up my bedroom and gaining a living room and separate dining room because when it came down to it, the cramped living conditions wasn't conducive to my spiritual sanity.  I did talk to Tom about my feelings on giving up my privacy and while he didn't respond, at least it's out there.  I did notice this morning he left me to my morning solitude, which I so appreciated.  I even would have had time for some morning meditation/prayer or short ritual if I hadn't spent the morning knitting.  I did need to re-do my altar as I had to take out the table I was using and use one of my crafting bins for it instead.  Which is nicely covered up with a Tuscan style tablecloth so it doesn't show what it is. It occurred to me that I've set my altar up on my crafting items and my crafting is a huge connection for me with the God/desses so maybe it's the best choice anyway. I'm set up for Litha, Alban Hefin, or Summer Solstice.  We're going to work on the outdoor altar tomorrow if we get the yard mowed.  Zach has asked for the outdoor altar to be his, to which I have no objection at all. 

His path is shifting again and we've had many a conversation about it lately, mostly me listening.  He's still feeling so much pain from his past and finds it hard to trust any "system" right now.  But he feels drawn to the Druid path, yet knows it's his own path and not one laid out for him by anyone else.  He misses the depth of spirituality he had as a Christian (but not the belief system itself) and wants to find that again, but is determined that it must be natural and not forced or artificial.  I envy his strength and determination.

And yet my path is unfolding well.  I am growing more and more comfortable with my choices and feel ready to take on a deeper route.  I had to walk away from the politics that were driving me because all I got from it was upset and unrest.  It was as much fear-mongering as I endured as a fundie.  I had a heartfelt evening with the God/desses one evening which convinced me that something that upset me so much wasn't healthy for body, spirit or soul.  And I'm finding that as I ease away from it, I'm losing interest in it as well.  And growing more and more passionate to learn about the spiritual things that fill me up.

I am hoping to post more on this blog but I make no promises because as my energy seems to be returning (or as I learn to work past it) I'll be busier, I hope.  Yet this is important to me, too, so maybe I'll find the time and energy to keep up with this one as well.  In the meantime, supper is done and so am I.  I exhausted myself yesterday and I have an altar to consecrate tonight, in addition to some reading as well as knitting and tv watching.


  1. Hey, like your new blog name! I've always been fond of crows.

  2. I saw the name of your blog in my feed reader and thought, "What's this?" Happy to find it was you. A crow saved me from getting into an accident today.

    Glad the heat wave has passed. I don't do well in the heat either. It saps me of everything. While I want some summer sun and heat for my vegetable garden, I'm kind of dreading it too.

  3. Thanks, guys. I fretted about the change in title and had to wear this one for a while before I realized how much it really is me and my journey. The crows waking me up this morning helped a bit.

    I'm loving this 50+ degree temperature.