Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I begin to learn

I've started a sincere study of Druidry this week.  Not just gleaning from websites or absorbing from blogs.  Real books.  Our library is sparse on Druidry but Tana was delightfully generous and sent me some books, most of which I've already pored over and over, but I just recently started serious study of The Druid Tradition by Philip Carr-Gomm.  I love it, especially with the meditation exercises at the end of each chapter.  I especially like knowing the history of modern Druidry and the differences between various Druid organizations.

Sunday, after taking Zach out to dinner for his birthday, we found ourselves in a Barnes & Nobles bookstore magnetically attracted to the "New Age" section.  I found several books on Druidry but I found myself in a dilemma:  which to take home with me.  In trying to decide I found myself clinging to old habits and thought-patterns.  As a fundamentalist Christian I was always careful to buy the books that reflected the "correct" doctrine and were written by approved authors.  I discovered I was doing the same thing with books on Druidry.  Would Philip Carr-Gomm approve?  Would Emma Restall Orr?

I admit that I am not a reconstructionist and find some of their teachings dangerously close to the fundamentalism I left that things have to be done their way, which is the way of the ancestors. As in...the "correct" way.  Not all reconstructionists are like that, of course, but I have run into a few who are.

It bothered me that I was trying to limit myself to the "correct" teachings on Druidry so I just sort of gulped and picked two that really spoke to me, the ones that I couldn't put back on the shelves.  One was The Druidry Handbook by John Michael Greer and the other was Druid Magic by Maya Magee Sutton and Nicholas R. Mann.  Imagine my surprise when I got them home and both books are recommended by Philip Carr-Gomm.  The Druidry Handbook seems to be one that tries to take reconstructionism into the modern world.  I haven't gotten into the other one far enough to tell yet but I'll let you know as I do.

Intuition.  It means something.  I was taught all my life not to trust my own instincts because they were inherently devious and would lead me astray.  I'm learning that's not so because my intuition isn't my enemy.  It's a tool.  Not perfect and subject to misinterpretation until I learn to use it better but certainly not my enemy. My intuition also found one set of Rider-Waite Tarot cards.  These are the cards I learned on lo! these many years ago and the ones I would have chosen for myself, if I had had the chance.  I couldn't resist them so they came home with me as well.  I gave back Zach's deck to him and am trying to bond with my new set. 

Zach found a book that had him transfixed so I bought it for him as a birthday present.  It's Dancing with Dragons by D. J. Conway.  Dragons have called to him all his life so this book really means a lot to him.

When I mentioned on this blog that I was trying to learn meditation, Tana found a set of Spirit Beads and sent them to me.  They are absolutely beautiful and so charged with energy.  They are made of polished Jasper with a Goddess symbol on them.  I am so lucky to have such a friend.  Especially since I still haven't gotten to the post office to mail off my gift to her.  (This week, I promise!)  I used them this week in meditation and prayer and they felt so good and seemed to help me center so much better.  Not that I'm any good at it yet.  I still have so many distractions...both internal and outside distractions.  I plan on getting up earlier in the morning so I am the only one awake.  It's the only way I can be alone in the house.

I'm still organizing my altar.  I haven't gotten the ancestors up on the wall yet but I plan on doing that this week, too.  I got an electric candle to use in my window nightly until Yule as I can't use a real one without burning down the house.  And little electric tea candles for those nights I feel like I need a vigil candle going.

I hope to share some of the things I'm learning about Druidry in the future but today I'm a bit under the weather with a cold or something (again!) so I'm going to rest on the bed while spinning for a bit.  It relaxes me.  A lot.  I also feel a definite connection with Lugh when I spin for some reason.  He's been ever in my thoughts these days.  My candle for him is yellow and nearly spent, which is appropriate, I guess, but I can't find another yellow candle in the store.  I'll keep looking.

Until next time.


  1. I've always regretted not following my intuition in situations where I should have. You're right -- we're taught not to trust it. Yet often it's our wise inner voice.

  2. Trust is the biggest lesson I'm supposed to be learning right now. In every. possible. way. And it's pretty intense.

    Hearts, light, love and blessings to you.

  3. Debra, I have no confidence in my intuition yet. And I emphasize yet because I'm working toward that end. It's a muscle that really needs exercising though.

  4. Tana, trusting myself is harder than trusting people who have hurt and damaged me in the past. I don't know why that is.

  5. All I have to say on this one is: John Michael Greer. WIN. The man inspires me.