Monday, August 29, 2011

Weekend ponderings

I did take the weekend off as far as cleaning and cooking went but I spent a great deal of energy on stress-related things and pondering my spiritual path.  No matter how hard I try, the stress-related stuff just gets to me and I can't meditate it away.  One thing being Tom has gone back to using my altar as a table for his food and drink while he comes into the living room to watch tv.  Instead of sitting on the couch, he sits on the ottoman and puts his food and drink on the altar.  I have tried in the past to impress on him the sacredness of the altar but I think this is his way of establishing his territory.  He doesn't really recognize that there is any place in the house that isn't his.  Since mentioning it to him again will be an exercise in futility, not to mention it pisses him off to be criticized, I just will keep my mouth shut and pick up after him.  He left his dirty glass and crumbs all over it last night so as soon as he went upstairs, I cleaned it up and offered up a prayer to the gods hoping they wouldn't be offended.

One of my struggles on this journey has been leaving behind habits and thought-patterns that are burdening my spirit.  Such as this nearly obsessive need to follow the "rules" of a particular religion.  It's hard to be eclectic and forge your own path when you keep wandering back to the well-established path.  I keep finding my heart drawn to the Greek/Roman deities and yet the only "community" I can find is reconstructionist, which is too claustrophobic for me.  My heart is also still with things of Nature and the Celtic traditions I've come to know and love.  So this weekend I've been thinking, studying, meditating upon those things that I love in both areas and trying to figure out what my path is regarding them.

I'm still a bit in flux but my time spent with the Greek/Roman deities this weekend has been marvelous. Without defining them as the reconstructionists do, I spoke to them as the gods I remembered from my childhood and from the wonderful stories I grew up on.  Within those parameters, I found them accessible, awe-inspiring and even a bit intimdating.  But definitely not rigid and demanding.  I never got the sense that things had to be done just so.

And I do point out that my problem isn't with reconstructionists because they can only worship their gods as they feel they must.  My problem is my incessant need to belong to a group that has rules that create boundaries that I take to the extreme, using them not as guidelines but as prison walls.

I'm spending time studying divination right now.  Spells or magic will come later as I feel the need.  I know that in some circles magic is hubris to the Greek gods I'm not feeling those boundaries.  Nor do I feel a need to limit the gods to a specific time frame and insist that they never grew beyond that era.  I'm pretty neo in my orthopraxy to be honest.  Every religion evolves over time to stay relevant with the people who observe it.  At least that's my thinking.

Now off to more studies and getting some cleaning done.  Today is Hekate's deipnon, a time in which the house is cleansed and purified from the old, stale, gone-bad stuff.  It's actually a refreshing feeling to get rid of stuff that needs to be thrown out.

I found a necklace this weekend that I loved.  It's a peacock, which is one of the animals Hera is associated with.  And so far the chain hasn't broken me out.


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