Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Learning about prayer

I'm having a hard time making progress with my studies. Once again I wish for a door that locked.  And maybe soundproofing.  Today I was studying prayer and was interrupted at least 13 times in the space of an hour.  It's a toss up between the dog and the husband which one did it more.  I know I could study when he's gone but since I can't work on the house while he's home, I use that time to get things done.  I might have to change that around though.  Maybe I should just stop cleaning the house.  That would free up some time.

I have learned a lot about prayer in spite of the frequent interruptions.  Very useful things, in fact.  I admit that I never "got" prayer as a fundamentalist/evangelical, mostly because the whole notion of "praying without ceasing" and "asking in faith" never made any sense to me.  I could never pray for hours at a time like the really holy people did.  In fact, I never really knew what to say to "God" at all.  I mean, if he was omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, why did he need me to tell him anything anyway?  And as for asking...just how many times was I supposed to ask?  It seemed to me that the incessant intercessory prayer thing was merely piling on God until he cried "uncle!"

I never ever felt connected to God through prayer at all.  Ever.  And of course, I thought it was all my fault, that I was deficient somehow.  So it's odd how, even though I didn't really have any sense of how or what to pray about to the deities who have called me to them, I felt a connection anyway.  And that connection seems even stronger and clearer as I learn more about how to do it.  I love that I can use pre-written prayers instead of mumbling and bumbling, trying to think of something wise and witty to say.  I love that I can pre-write those prayers, too.  That was one thing I did love about the Episcopal Church.  The prayers already written down for me.  Sadly they didn't form the connection I desired though.

I love forming this relationship with my gods in a steadily growing way.  I finally feel like I'm taking the right steps on my path.  And while I still pray occasionally to the Greeks, I find that connection is strongest with the Celtic gods, even though I don't know them as well.  I got a book in from the library today about Celtic mythology and plan on delving into it tonight.  I'm hoping to set aside time each night for study as well as morning.  I do have the time if I will just schedule it better.

As Mabon races toward us (and with it my birthday) I'm hoping to actually celebrate a festival on the wheel instead of just planning it.  My cards today, which were asked of the gods what they want to tell me, were a bit tough but necessary, about how I do a lot of planning and dreaming but very little action to go along with it.  How I need to use my intuition more and rely on my talents instead of letting myself lapse into a coma instead.  Even my animal oracle cards confirmed it.  Harsh, but necessary.

Off to try to get some things done before bedtime.



  1. Celtic Goddesses by Miranda Green is excellent. I'm hesitant to believe all the female characters she pulls out of myth were in fact goddesses but the information in there on attested goddesses is fabulous (such as Epona, Nehalennia, Nantosuelta etc) and helped me to form my own opinions and make my own connections. Not many books I'd recommend with such enthusiasm!


  2. Thanks, Nellie! I'll see if it's in the library but if it isn't, my birthday is coming up so I might treat myself to a copy. One thing about finding information about the Celtic deities is the insistence on some groups deifying every character out of legend, like Arthur, Lancelot, etc. It's hard for a beginner to sift the truth from the fantastic.

  3. Listen to your animal cards. Heart over head wins every time.

  4. Thanks, DM. My head needs to just stfu. LOL

  5. Girl, my head needs to just stfu too. Just about different things is all.

  6. LOL! Why is the head noisier than the heart anyway? :)