Learning about prayer

I'm having a hard time making progress with my studies. Once again I wish for a door that locked.  And maybe soundproofing.  Today I was studying prayer and was interrupted at least 13 times in the space of an hour.  It's a toss up between the dog and the husband which one did it more.  I know I could study when he's gone but since I can't work on the house while he's home, I use that time to get things done.  I might have to change that around though.  Maybe I should just stop cleaning the house.  That would free up some time.

I have learned a lot about prayer in spite of the frequent interruptions.  Very useful things, in fact.  I admit that I never "got" prayer as a fundamentalist/evangelical, mostly because the whole notion of "praying without ceasing" and "asking in faith" never made any sense to me.  I could never pray for hours at a time like the really holy people did.  In fact, I never really knew what to say to "God" at all.  I mean, if he was omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, why did he need me to tell him anything anyway?  And as for asking...just how many times was I supposed to ask?  It seemed to me that the incessant intercessory prayer thing was merely piling on God until he cried "uncle!"

I never ever felt connected to God through prayer at all.  Ever.  And of course, I thought it was all my fault, that I was deficient somehow.  So it's odd how, even though I didn't really have any sense of how or what to pray about to the deities who have called me to them, I felt a connection anyway.  And that connection seems even stronger and clearer as I learn more about how to do it.  I love that I can use pre-written prayers instead of mumbling and bumbling, trying to think of something wise and witty to say.  I love that I can pre-write those prayers, too.  That was one thing I did love about the Episcopal Church.  The prayers already written down for me.  Sadly they didn't form the connection I desired though.

I love forming this relationship with my gods in a steadily growing way.  I finally feel like I'm taking the right steps on my path.  And while I still pray occasionally to the Greeks, I find that connection is strongest with the Celtic gods, even though I don't know them as well.  I got a book in from the library today about Celtic mythology and plan on delving into it tonight.  I'm hoping to set aside time each night for study as well as morning.  I do have the time if I will just schedule it better.

As Mabon races toward us (and with it my birthday) I'm hoping to actually celebrate a festival on the wheel instead of just planning it.  My cards today, which were asked of the gods what they want to tell me, were a bit tough but necessary, about how I do a lot of planning and dreaming but very little action to go along with it.  How I need to use my intuition more and rely on my talents instead of letting myself lapse into a coma instead.  Even my animal oracle cards confirmed it.  Harsh, but necessary.

Off to try to get some things done before bedtime.

BB