Thursday, July 21, 2011

I love buying for my spiritual wants

I spent a little money this week on things spiritual.  A new pendant because my triple moon pendant fell off the cord and disappeared somewhere on the property but either the faeries took it or it just left me.  Either way, it's gone and I don't really feel its loss, oddly.  I haven't felt a kinship with Hecate of late and I wonder if that was part of it, although I invoked her at the Full Moon and felt her presence there quite vividly.

At any rate, I picked a pewter Green Man since the wildness of Nature has been calling to me for a while.  I need to actually get out in it now that it's no longer steaming outside.  Household chores will keep me occupied until Sunday at least so I should make plans for next week.  Especially as Lughnasadh is imminent and I still need to set up the faerie garden/grove.  But with in-laws coming I must make the house presentable so my husband isn't ashamed of me.  It's sad that he is so frequently ashamed of me around his family, but the pain of those experiences has long since calloused my heart so I no longer feel it.

I counter that with his acceptance of my spiritual path and it makes everything bearable.  The scales balance, in a way.

I also ordered A Pagan Ritual Prayer Book, a sort of companion to A Pagan Book of Prayer.  And I ordered the Druid Animal Oracle Deck as well.  I would like to invest more time in learning about diviniation, meditation and ritual.  Aside from some minor spells, I don't really feel a pull toward magick as yet.  Maybe in the future, but I'm not in any hurry.

I'm still tooling along with Triumph of the Moon.  Parts of it are fascinating; other parts are a bit of a sleeping pill.  Mostly it's because of the heat, I think.  My poor old brain overheats on the best of days and trying to use it on a hot day probably put me on overload.  I miss the days when my brain worked efficiently.

It will be good to have the house clean.  I know that order begets order and I do function better when the house is clean.  My brain doesn't overheat as much, I retain much more of what I read and I'm more inclined to be creative.  Chaos drains me empty.  Since the Full Moon my debilitating fatigue hasn't returned and although I'm not terribly energetic, I can function.  Which I couldn't before.  I must make every effort to perform a Full Moon ritual since in the past full moons tend to drain me dry and leave me nearly incapacitated.  I wish I could remember what I did.  I also should guard my energy during the dark of the moon as well.  I have the same problem.

At any rate, lovely prayer last night with the God/desses with the feeling that all is well.  I think one of the things I love best about the God/desses is how patient they are with me and how unconditional their love is.  I've never known that kind of love before and it's taken me a while to accept it.  Now if I could only love myself that way.



  1. An orderly house is an orderly mind. I got batshit crazy if a newspaper is left on my coffee table. Yes, I have issues, I know.

    Unconditional love for oneself, how about approaching Kuan Yin?

  2. I get pretty anal once the house is clean, following everyone around picking up after them. Once the clutter takes over, I just revert to the fetal position until the next energy wave takes over or I'm on a deadline, like now.

    What is Kuan Yin?

  3. Kuan Yin is the Chinese Goddess of Compassion. You can read a lot about her on the Internet. It is said when a woman speaks her name, she comes, always.

  4. I will definitely be calling on her very soon. Thanks so much for letting me know about her.