Saturday, June 2, 2012

Mostly blathering

I have been doing some studying but not as much as I would like.  Instead I've been working on my knitting projects.  Having a deadline keeps me more focused on that than something I don't have a deadline on.  And most of the books I already own.  The others I can get from the library at any time so there is no urgency about them.  Full Moon is coming up so I hope to have a ritual in place for that.  Mostly just daily ritual for now.  Morning and evening candles and incense with some prayers and miniscule ritual for that.

I do feel good about the progress I'm making even if it is slow.  My mother's health is improving along with her lucidity so that helps take the stress off a bit, except for the impending visit.  And with my upcoming physical.  I always stress out to the point of making myself ill for that.  Don't ask me why because I don't know, but I always do.  I lose sleep, eat terribly and gain weight for the event.

I'm not particularly looking forward to the visit in Indiana, but not because I don't want to see everyone.  I don't sleep well away from home and although we're getting a room, I'm still going to be in the room with a man who can snore the windows out of their frames.  Ear plugs don't work because I can't sleep if I can't hear what's going on around me.  I'm taking Zach's portable dvd player so I can maybe put the earphones on and watch that as I fall asleep.

Also...there will be a lot of Christianizing while I'm down there.  I expect to hear a lot of talk about how God has taken care of my mother and tons of praying...especially as my sister and her husband are both Baptist ministers.  I don't intend to do anything to "out" myself to my younger sister or my parents.  I really don't need the lectures and pile on that would happen for that, so I'll just go along with it, but it will be incredibly uncomfortable.  I remember as a Christian that I really didn't care what other people thought when we talked God nonstop or prayed in front of them.  I was really obnoxious about it all, feeling very privileged and within my rights to impose my beliefs on them.  Maybe this is all just payback.  :)

I have great plans for my outdoor altar as soon as I have the energy to work on it.  I slept for 11 hours last nght but not deeply so I'm not the least bit rested.  What I need are several nights of good, deep sleep.  I'm going to work on that to the exclusion of everything else.  Otherwise nothing else will ever get done.



  1. I specifically did not go to NC to see my in-laws because I can't deal with their Christian bullshit and Yankee this that and the other thing. You'd think after 18 years my accent wouldn't be so amusing. Idiots.

    1. My accent comes right back as soon as I enter Scott County. I speak fluent redneck. :)

      It's just for a couple of days and I really do want to see my sisters and my parents. I love them in small doses and will just have to keep my mouth shut and the chip off my shoulder while I'm there.

      It won't be nonstop Christianizing but certainly more than I'm comfortable with. And I have a motel room to go to if it gets too bad. :)