Tuesday, June 12, 2012


I tell myself not to write if I don't have anything to say but I never listen to me so I'm going to do it anyway.

My mother is home from the rehab center.  Just got home tonight but I won't call until tomorrow.  I imagine she's pretty tired.  Plus that first night home should be for her and not for everyone else.  I can't say I'm really thrilled about the trip down there.  I want to see everyone but the trip itself is long and boring and there is a small party for them the night we get there...after driving 10+ hours.  Not sure what kind of party mood I'll be in.

I love my family best from a distance but in small doses it can be nice.  I just hope this is one of the nice visits. 

The insomnia has been bad lately.  The night before my physical I didn't get any sleep and that has messed me up ever since then.  I always have anxiety attacks about my physicals but there is never any reason to because my dr is reasonable, nice and understanding.  Never nags and lets me cry on her shoulder even when I know she has other patients.  Didn't cry on her shoulder this time but in the past I have.  Plus since I haven't had any suspect pap smears since my cancer treatment, I can go to having them every three years.  That was better than Christmas!  I hate them.

Zach has been wanting to get together for some studies but with this crappy insomnia I haven't felt like it lately.  I promised him we would do it tomorrow afternoon.  If I wait until night I'm dead to the world.  This week after he mows the yard we're going to set up our grove out behind the garage.  It's fairly private there.  And I know for a fact there is a bunny nest there as well.  They're behind the mattress and box spring frames I'm using for a lattice so the dog can't get to them.  I'd like to have it ready for Midsummer.  I think magical things could happen this year.

But tonight I'm focusing on sleep since we had to get up early to go to Fond du Lac for Zach's appointment with the hematologist (who is also my oncologist) and I'm really, really tired.  I can't focus on any of my books so I'm reading a biography of Queen Elizabeth II.  Fascinating stuff.

But off to read and perhaps knit a while and then sleep.  I don't feel particularly spiritual when I'm dragging my ass from fatigue.



  1. One foot in front of the other. That is how I'm living right now. If I don't, I will soon be writing from the psych ward at Jersey Shore University Medical Center.

    1. I hear ya.

      But I have to admit that time spent in a room by myself with nice padding and tons of time to sleep is appealing.

      But only for a while.

      I'm hoping that a clean bedroom and some purifying will help the sleep status a bit more. It's just taking all day to accomplish it because I have to keep taking breaks.