A surprise visit from the past

I've had an interesting turn of events in my life in the past 24 hours.  Years ago I was in an email loop with some friends I knew from a Christian forum on AOL.  We were probably in the loop for at least 7 years or so before things started falling apart.  People got busy, lost interest, etc.  Well, one of the women on that group, besides being one of the best people in the world, is a friend on facebook and has set up a revival of the group on facebook.  I was added to the group last night.  I had misgivings, especially since I'm no longer Christian but so far things are going very well.  Not everyone is in the same place they were 5 years ago when I left the group so it's a pleasure to see some of their "faces" again.

I do still have misgivings, especially in light of having to unfriend one of them a while back because of her nasty comments about gays in regards to my son.  But for the most part, I did love these women like sisters even though we are no longer "Sisters in Christ" (the name of our email loop.)

Times have changed all of us, I hope.  I know not all of them are still Christians, some have stayed within Christianity but have opted for a more liberal version of it and some are still very much fundamentalists.  I'm going to give it a go and try my best.  Maybe this is the way for me to overcome the bitterness I have toward Christianity.  I admit it's been softening up for the most part, only to flare up when something from my past association enters the picture.  I do still have a great deal of fondness for St. Mark's and still think from time to time of visiting there again.  Until I remember how early in the morning their services are.  LOL!

But it's time I moved on and left the pains of the past behind me and allow myself to enjoy the path I'm on now.  As long as I'm captive to the past, I'm not as free as I need to be to enjoy the present.

I did find out that one of them, another friend on fb, has been reading this blog as well as my mundane one.  She's always been one of the special ones who has never been obnoxious about her own beliefs so I wondered if she was bothered by the things I've said here about Christianity.  I'm not going to ask her because everything I said here was from my heart and as honest as I could be for myself, but I would still regret if I caused any one of my Christian friends pain.

Still, I'm not going to go back and change a word of anything I've said.  Because I did mean it and probably still mean most of it.  It's hard sometimes to distinguish between the various kinds of Christians out there and while I still do have issues with any religious system (and we're talking more than just Christianity here) which insists they and they alone have all truth, I have to acknowledge that not everyone who believes that is obnoxious or arrogant.  And we certainly have our share of those elements within Paganism.  Just sayin'.

So I will participate with these women, ignore those who want to preach and enjoy those who love me for who I am, and not love me in spite of who I am.  Which is an issue I wish I could resolve on the family level as well, but that's another story.  Because those who love you in spite of who you are have a tendency to want to fix you so you are more in line with who they want you to be.  Again...just sayin'.

BB