Thursday, October 9, 2014

Listening and looking and learning...the road to my intentions

I think I've come a long way spiritually in spite of the difficulty in finding a way that speaks to me.  I don't feel as torn or confused as I did before and Iknow with certainty that I am being led.   No matter where I look, Cernnunos is there.  Cerridwen is everywhere I turn as well.  I feel them, hear them.  Sometimes I think I even see them...and not the statues on my altar.

I don't think I stopped long enough to let them make themselves known to me.  Or maybe I just had to get the others out of my system so I could concentrate on who was really out there.  Or maybe both things had to happen before I could open myself up to the gods who were calling to me.

I feel much calmer and more assured of my own worth.  I haven't felt that way in...well...never.  Makes me think of the song from HairsprayI know where I'm going and I know where I've been.  I feel like that.  Yeah.

My back and leg are feeling better although I did go back to bed with the heating pad this morning after taking Zach to work.  It's fast becoming my best friend.  Pain interferes with my concentration and the exhaustion from a bout of pain leaves me completely unfocused.  I didn't sleep well last night because of the fibromyalgia.  Aching like I had the flu.  But I didn't take a tramadol because while painful, it wasn't PAINFUL.  If you know what I mean.  Besides, I don't think the tramadol really works that much for me anyway.

I'm hoping, now that Zach's schedule has normalized, to better manage my time and get some organization going on here at home.  De-cluttering, putting things where they can be accessed more easily.  Organizing my spiritual tools and supplies, crafts, books, clothes.  I'd like to unload the piano so I can start playing again.

I just hope this time I have follow-through.  Another problem I suffer from.  I have the best of intentions but no energy to fulfill them.

Maybe managing the house energy better will help.

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