I've faced a couple of challenges to my path but nothing I hadn't anticipated and nothing I couldn't handle. I knew that I would run into people who give a representation of the Heathen path that is diametrically opposite to mine. And frankly, the racists exist out there in any and all paths so I don't worry so much about the associations with Heathenism as Christianity far outweighs the number of racist members. I am not saying that Christianity is racist by any stretch of the imagination, but there are many Christians who are racist even if they deny it. You can't just love your white neighbor and be fulfilling the commandments they claim to follow.
Most of my challenges have been from the more conservative members who hate my political stance (although not my stance personally) and who seem to think they are libertarians. They aren't, in fact, because they want their government to be just as big as the left does, they just want their shit to be unregulated while regulating the crap out of everyone else's.
But also, I've run into some people who think I'm on the wrong path because it's not the one they would choose for me. I don't mean the ones who have had their own experiences with Heathens and come away with less than satisfying encounters and shared that opinion. And I don't mean the ones who have expressed opinions based on knowing the struggle I've had finding the path that fits me best. I mean the ones who just don't like the path I'm on and don't think I should either.
Thankfully they are few. Actually, they are only one. And not someone who reads my blog either so they don't understand where I'm coming from.
But the fact that I didn't cave in this time means something to me. I started reading some Norse mythology and a book on runes this weekend and have come away even more certain that this is my path, that these gods have called me but have called me to be who I am. Not to turn into some kind of carbon copy of anyone else on this path. I've also been finding more and more Heathens who are of a more liberal persuasion, like me.
In spite of next to no sleep all weekend long and a dog that is freaking out over every single noise outside, I feel spiritually energized. I finally feel like I'm growing spiritually as well. I haven't felt like that in a long time.
Rituals are becoming a part of my life and magic is becoming a part of my life.
I call that progress.
BB
Most of my challenges have been from the more conservative members who hate my political stance (although not my stance personally) and who seem to think they are libertarians. They aren't, in fact, because they want their government to be just as big as the left does, they just want their shit to be unregulated while regulating the crap out of everyone else's.
But also, I've run into some people who think I'm on the wrong path because it's not the one they would choose for me. I don't mean the ones who have had their own experiences with Heathens and come away with less than satisfying encounters and shared that opinion. And I don't mean the ones who have expressed opinions based on knowing the struggle I've had finding the path that fits me best. I mean the ones who just don't like the path I'm on and don't think I should either.
Thankfully they are few. Actually, they are only one. And not someone who reads my blog either so they don't understand where I'm coming from.
But the fact that I didn't cave in this time means something to me. I started reading some Norse mythology and a book on runes this weekend and have come away even more certain that this is my path, that these gods have called me but have called me to be who I am. Not to turn into some kind of carbon copy of anyone else on this path. I've also been finding more and more Heathens who are of a more liberal persuasion, like me.
In spite of next to no sleep all weekend long and a dog that is freaking out over every single noise outside, I feel spiritually energized. I finally feel like I'm growing spiritually as well. I haven't felt like that in a long time.
Rituals are becoming a part of my life and magic is becoming a part of my life.
I call that progress.
BB
I wish you had a "like" button. :) Good for you, Kathy.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks, Tana. I think the reason it has been so hard trying to find my path is I still place too much weight on what people think of me and what I'm doing. I'm trying very hard to do what I feel is right for me instead of trying to win favor with people. Another result of my upbringing, I suppose. I don't think that Christianity teaches people to want to be liked, but certainly my training in it taught me to want the approval of the leaders of my religious community because that was a sign I was in favor with god. Until the leader fell out of favor with everyone. Then it was whoever was in charge after that.
DeleteBut I feel so much better since letting the barrier down that kept me from choosing my own path. I don't like what some of the other Heathens represent, but I'm pretty sure they don't like what I represent either. All I can do is be true to myself and the gods.
And you're absolutely right. In the end all we can do is be true to ourselves and our gods. :) I'm glad you are finding your feet at last.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lady. I can't say this is the path I will be on for the rest of my life, but it is the path I need to be on now. :)
DeleteI have to say, even though my childhood basically sucked a bag of dicks, I am grateful that I was raised by an Atheist and that Spirituality and Religion were left for me to explore on my own as an adult. I can't imagine such an integral part of my Soul under such scrutiny.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame my parents but I do blame a system that puts that kind of pressure on people to immerse their kids in it, not because they found it was a good path but because not walking on that path meant eternal punishment for their children. I do resent not having had a choice for all of my childhood and feeling like I didn't have a choice most of my life. And trying to live up to the standard that was impossible to live up to nearly destroyed me and my marriage. I think of all the silent, suffering people out there who don't think they have a choice either and while I would love to shout it from the rooftops, they wouldn't believe me because they were indoctrinated as much as I was. Only an epiphany will let you escape that kind of prison.
DeleteThanks so much for your comments. Loved them!