Wednesday, May 11, 2011

So this is what contentment feels like

I'm making times baby steps, other times gargantuan leaps.  Okay, maybe not leaps...more like bunny hops.  But I'm getting there.

I did some work on my bedroom: organizing, simplifying, cleaning.  I took back the nightstand that was my altar and put it back as a nightstand and used the coffee table for the altar.  It's much lower but I can sit on the floor and attend it instead of standing.  Standing, for me, is painful after a few minutes so the bulk of my ritual time is spent waiting for it to be over.  Not a good attitude.  Now I'm comfortable on the floor and spend much more time attending the deities.  Meditating is getting easier, too. 

I'm learning new mantras for my spirit beads that Tana so lovingly sent me.  I always hold the beads when praying or during ritual, wrapping them around my wrist and carrying the ends through my fingers.  It's amazing how much energy they give off at times.  They're made of jasper, which seems to be very good at that sort of thing.  I did a brief mantra last night (although for the life of me I can't remember what it was) and felt pretty good afterward.

Another benefit to having the altar lower, is I can sit in front of my candles and read.  I've discovered that I'm learning more by reading about different aspects of Paganism, like Druidry, Wicca, meditation, etc, rather than reading about how to do the rituals and such.  Writing my own prayers and rituals is so much easier when I have the knowledge of the god/desses instead of doing what others have already done.  So I started a new Book of Shadows/Spirituality last night with my rituals in them.  I have another spiral book I use for prayers.  It's smaller and fits inside my purse, plus I have my Book of Pagan Prayers from Ceisiwr Serith.  I love the prayers in there, in addition to the information about deities and prayer.

Also, now that I'm outdoors more, I'm feeling more connected with Nature and the elements.  We got most of the yard mowed yesterday so I'm hoping to set up the faerie garden and move my altar this week some time.  There is a lecture on the history of the Indian mounds at the library this Saturday so I might go to that as well.  I plan on spending more time at the mounds this summer, honoring the ancestors and connecting with whichever god/dess is calling me there. 

Although I still feel pulled in a very Druid direction, I don't feel locked into any one path.  I still have a great deal of affection for the Greek Deities and have been known to call upon one of them during my evening prayer time.  It's never intentional, but never accidental either. 

I am still mesmerized by the eagles, who have grown so much.  I've been learning a lot about eagles as I watch them grow.  I love the way the parents pair bond, the way they call to each other, the way the male rushed to the nest to protect the female and the baby eaglets from an owl.   I've seen other cams set up but none have the sound and visual capabilities as this one does.  This is such a great way to learn about nature that I want to find other sources similar to this, even if it's documentary form.  I know PBS has Nature and I can probably get old episodes from the library.

Well, off to fix supper and then head off to my bedroom for knitting and tv watching.  I've been turning the tv off around 10 p.m. and having ritual or prayer, reading a bit, meditating a bit.  For some reason that time of night is quiet and soothing for me.  If I wait until later, I'll fall asleep.  Earlier and my mind won't shut off.  Odd how that works out.


1 comment:

  1. Yes, isn't it lovely to go outside now that the nice weather is here!