Thursday, November 15, 2012

Where I seem to be now

I'm still looking into magick although a lot of what I read is contradictory.  No matter, as I never intended to do this any way but intuitive.  Most books on magick (or magic if you want to be anal about it) seem to be from a Wiccan perspective with the Lord and Lady intimately involved in the process.  I'm not bothered by that either.  I'm going the direction I think is best for me.

There has been an emptiness in me without deity, though.  I don't know that the connection between deity and magick is imperative but I do know that the presence of deity in my life is.  I just don't feel complete without them.

And even though I still haven't committed to any gods yet, I am listening to my heart in the matter.  Right now I've made a tentative approach to the Anglo Saxon gods but not that particular culture.  I'm still very drawn to the Celtic way of doing things but not so much to their gods.  Teo Bishop's blog today really intrigued me with his intentions to institute a solitary druid liturgy and group, of sorts.  I do like some of the druidry aspects, although not all of them.  I'm not much into the notion of having to study for years before I'm considered a full member of a group.  Not that I think study isn't necessary in some respects.  But I'm not getting a fucking degree in my particular path so I don't think I should have to go back to college to be able to practice my religion.  So the notion of being solitary really appeals to me and yet it would be nice to be connected to other people as well.

I'm still very turned off by the types of people who tell me (or not me personally but all the "me's" out there who are reading as well) that you can't "pray" to the Norse gods because they don't like it when people grovel and beg and so you should put on your big girl/boy panties and suck it up.  And then tell people who disagree that you can't make up your own religion so you have to do it the way they've said you should do it.  And this isn't just in the Norse groups.  I've seen that in all of the various Pagan disciplines out there.  I think "my way or the highway" is a human construct no matter what religion you're in.

I've resigned myself to the fact that there are asshats in Paganism, much like there are in the Big Three.  There is always going to be someone ridiculing what you do, how you do it and telling you that you should do it their way. 

But as for me, I'm going to blaze my own trail.  For now that seems to include the Anglo Saxon gods.  Who knows if there will be more tomorrow.  Or less.  But I do need that connection to deity in my life.  I'm just not as whole without it. 

4 comments:

  1. This is how I started out years ago. I knew there were certain things I felt to be true, some things I felt I should do on a regular basis, and some things that simply appealed to me even though I didn't really know why. Today I simply consider myself a Me. There's a lot of Druidry in my daily practice. There's a lot of sea-witch in my minimal magical practice. My fondness and respect for some of the Norse culture/pantheon/mythology is slowly increasing, though I doubt they will ever take the place of the Hellenes in my heart. The Hellenes that I never went looking for at all. Very few people are purely anything.

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    1. That's very encouraging. I suspect I will end up mostly one thing with a few bits of another. Which will work out well for me. Zach is very interested in Druidry on his own terms as well. There will be overlap, I'm sure, as well as some things outside, much like a Venn diagram. My problem is I love the Hellenes and the Norse but to be honest, the Hellenes aren't the best fit for me personality-wise. It's like trying to give up your first love though.

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  2. To Hell with them all. Spirituality is so personal it's like telling someone they're not masturbating right. What I might like, you might not. tee hee hee.

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    1. LOL!!! It's so good to have you back.

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