It wasn't a long ritual, nor was it really good, but it was effective. Zach and I started indoors and moved outside to finish. We had to finish in the driveway between the car and the house because the moon was hidden from the area out behind the garage. I thought we had waited late enough but apparently not. It was cloudy but the moon was beautiful in the haze.
My tools and altar feel charged but my tarot cards hate me. I know they do. I got the meanest reading today anyone could possibly get, complete with the Devil card as my present circumstances. I had suspected some animosity from the cards from the beginning. Rider-Waite were the first cards I ever used and I had great success with them, but in rediscovering my fundamentalist Christian past (way back in my early 30s), I was advised to destroy the cards because they were Satanic. So I did with great ritual. I should have known not to try them again. I've tried apologies and various cleansing rituals but they still hate me. I'm giving up. I'm not destroying them, nor am I giving them away. They'll retain a prominent place in my room with great honor but I just can't use them anymore.
I'm not sure I want to continue with Tarot anymore but Zach has loaned me his cards, which I've had success with before. If they still work for me, I might look into getting another set. If not, I'll just figure this avenue of divination isn't the right one for me.
I've also been re-thinking my last post on organizing Paganism. I still think trying to make it into an organized entity is the worst thing that could happen to it, but I do think that covens, groves and kindreds aren't necessarily a bad thing. I'm still very content to be solitary. In fact, I think a group would not work well for me at all. But I think they do work for some people and should be given the respect they deserve.
Things are changing for me spiritually but I'm not ready to talk about it in full yet. I can't deny certain callings, though, and sometimes I just have to yield to the will of the gods and see what happens. But I've finally broken free from the rigid restrictions I had placed on myself when walking that path. And feel quite free (with complete permission of the gods) to blend the cultures my ancestors lived in because they would have blended them, too.
BB
My tools and altar feel charged but my tarot cards hate me. I know they do. I got the meanest reading today anyone could possibly get, complete with the Devil card as my present circumstances. I had suspected some animosity from the cards from the beginning. Rider-Waite were the first cards I ever used and I had great success with them, but in rediscovering my fundamentalist Christian past (way back in my early 30s), I was advised to destroy the cards because they were Satanic. So I did with great ritual. I should have known not to try them again. I've tried apologies and various cleansing rituals but they still hate me. I'm giving up. I'm not destroying them, nor am I giving them away. They'll retain a prominent place in my room with great honor but I just can't use them anymore.
I'm not sure I want to continue with Tarot anymore but Zach has loaned me his cards, which I've had success with before. If they still work for me, I might look into getting another set. If not, I'll just figure this avenue of divination isn't the right one for me.
I've also been re-thinking my last post on organizing Paganism. I still think trying to make it into an organized entity is the worst thing that could happen to it, but I do think that covens, groves and kindreds aren't necessarily a bad thing. I'm still very content to be solitary. In fact, I think a group would not work well for me at all. But I think they do work for some people and should be given the respect they deserve.
Things are changing for me spiritually but I'm not ready to talk about it in full yet. I can't deny certain callings, though, and sometimes I just have to yield to the will of the gods and see what happens. But I've finally broken free from the rigid restrictions I had placed on myself when walking that path. And feel quite free (with complete permission of the gods) to blend the cultures my ancestors lived in because they would have blended them, too.
BB
Yep to the not being able to talk about the changing Spirituality. Even though I spewed bunches of stuff about my own Spirituality in my last post just hours ago, I am still in the throws of receiving messages.
ReplyDeleteI've never been very good at keeping my personal life private so this is a new experience for me but I feel very strongly that some things are just not for public consumption. I'll still blog about things but I'm going to keep part of me separate from my blog.
DeleteI have something to send you that might be an aid on your journey if you have an address that you feel safe giving me. P.O.Box will be fine. Write me at kawaski@charter.net because I never check my gmail address.