I drew the two of wands today, which was a very timely card for me as I really struggle with choices and balance in my life. Initially I wasn't going to discuss it here because of the way my path has meandered all over the universe but now I think I should. After all, I did decide to put my journey out there, warts and all.
It occurred to me that trying to commit to a path hasn't been the problem. The problem is thinking I needed to commit to a path at all. I find elements in many paths that appeal to me but my problem has been in thinking I need to own that direction in order to incorporate those elements into my life. I struggle between loving the Greek gods and feeling an attraction toward the Anglo Saxon gods. Same with cultures. I love the Celtic culture, the Anglo Saxon culture and even bits of the Greek culture. No one direction satisfies all my needs, though.
I still have the Greeks on my altar and there they will stay because I really do love them and feel a connection with them, but I also plan on having another altar, or more, that offers something different. I intend to continue to walk my path through the lens of my heart and not my head. And my heart does lean toward the Anglo Saxon gods as well, toward Nature and toward my ancestors' traditions.
I hope this is growth and not an indication of my inability to commit. It feels right and it feels more wholesome spiritually. And I certainly feel a huge weight off my shoulders.
It occurred to me that trying to commit to a path hasn't been the problem. The problem is thinking I needed to commit to a path at all. I find elements in many paths that appeal to me but my problem has been in thinking I need to own that direction in order to incorporate those elements into my life. I struggle between loving the Greek gods and feeling an attraction toward the Anglo Saxon gods. Same with cultures. I love the Celtic culture, the Anglo Saxon culture and even bits of the Greek culture. No one direction satisfies all my needs, though.
I still have the Greeks on my altar and there they will stay because I really do love them and feel a connection with them, but I also plan on having another altar, or more, that offers something different. I intend to continue to walk my path through the lens of my heart and not my head. And my heart does lean toward the Anglo Saxon gods as well, toward Nature and toward my ancestors' traditions.
I hope this is growth and not an indication of my inability to commit. It feels right and it feels more wholesome spiritually. And I certainly feel a huge weight off my shoulders.
God forbid we have a "smorgasborg" faith/spirituality. Remember those days? Remember being told we weren't allowed to pick and choose because that's not how it works - it's all or nothing! You're either in or you're out. You're either saved or damned.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have to shackled ourselves to anything anymore, including one path, one set of gods, on way. There is beautiful freedom in choosing what resonates and what doesn't and finding that it doesn't really matter what other people think.
The only question is: does this indicate to you that you are unable to commit? Because it doesn't matter what this looks like to anyone else.
I hope that the years and energy and tears and thoughtfulness with which you have traveled your journey thus far are taken into account. Someone who wasn't committed would have quit years ago.
Peace and all good.
I think I'm still trying to overcome those days, Tana. I keep putting up bars around my cage to lock myself in because I think that's how it's supposed to be done. I'm so glad I got rid of those bars. I just hope I can keep from putting them back up.
DeleteI meant that remark to indicate that I finally realized it wasn't about an inability to commit but after re-reading it, I didn't write that clearly. But no...I think I understand now it's not about commitment. It's about limiting my view.
Good to see you again. I've missed you!
You mean like my Druid-esque Solar year and Earth-based reverence, my Greek gods and affection for Lunar festivities, my Dragons, my admiration/respect for the Fae, and general Seawitchyness? We're American, hon. I don't think we know HOW to be just one thing. It's not what we are and damned if I'll see anything wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteExactly, Lady!! You said it!
DeleteIt occurred to me that trying to commit to a path hasn't been the problem. The problem is thinking I needed to commit to a path at all.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a Spiritual leap!
Thanks! Feels like one, too. :)
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