Growing a backbone

I can't deny that the only gods I ever seem to connect with are the Greeks.  And I can't blame them for it not working out.  My biggest problem is that I place too much importance on how other people walk this path.  My path.  The path I am walking.  As if they have the right to tell me how to do it.  I know that the blame lies with me, with having had half a century of being told how to walk my path and believing that's the way it is done.  Because in Christianity they do tell you how to walk your path.  There are rules, you know.

And some pagans insist there are rules as well.  Or whatever they call themselves.  Most of the ones who insist on the rules also insist they aren't pagans so...whatever.

This is where I feel most at home, but on my path we don't have so many rules.  What we have are guidelines that can be used to aid us in our journey, in the way we worship our gods.

I'm not and never will be a reconstructionist or a revivalist.  I'm pretty content being a modern pagan.  And I do consider myself a pagan.  I saw a word in a book I read not too long ago about monotheism.  It's a fantastic book and when I remember the title, I'll share that with you.  But for now, I can't remember.  Anyway, the word the author used to describe rigid fundamentalists was "rigorist."  And it fits.  There are rigorists in all walks of life, even in paganism.  These are the people who think they're doing it right and if you're not doing the things they're doing, then you are insulting the gods.  Really, the gods don't give a shit.  Only the rigorists care.

I fell in love with the Greeks back in grade school and I don't think I ever fell out of love with them.  I understood that they weren't real (ha!) and that the people who worshiped them are now in hell because they were worshiping false gods instead of the ONE TRUE GOD.  So they were completely off limits to me.

But had I had options, I would have worshiped them, and I would have done it without knowing about any rules.  I would have offered them gifts and honored them and celebrated them.  In my own way.

And that's pretty much how things are going to be for me.  Not that I don't think I can learn from the ancients.  But that was then and this is now.  Certainly they were worshiped differently depending on the city, area, era.  And since I don't live in Greece or Athens, their holidays don't make a lot of sense for me.  I pretty much like the 8 festivals that most pagans celebrate, with the exception of the ones that are specific to Celtic deities.  I love the idea that the local holidays can be adapted to the Greek gods.

Now if I can just hold firm to my own ideology and maintain my resolve.  And not let what others say influence me. I need to stop reading the message boards where they get pissy over the right way to do things.  Just grow closer to the gods and learn from them what they want from me.

It really is just that easy.