It's a-stormin' out there right now and I love it. I love the wildness of Nature...the wind, the rain. And me safely inside. I love that it's dark enough for the street lights and it's not even 4 p.m. yet. I also love that I have all my appointments behind me so I don't have to go out. Unless I want supper, of course. We have no water. They're repairing some valves or something so we've had our water shut off since last night. Everyone has, in this neighborhood. Fortunately we bottled up several gallons for hygiene purposes.
I found a book on Celtic myths that is amazing. Not because of the myths but because the author acknowledges everything I was saying in my last post. She gets it. She is Miranda Green. There is an initial in there somewhere but I can't be bothered to get up from my comfy seat to go look it up. I look forward to reading this book since she addresses how the Celtic myths don't give any direction to the Celtic religion at all.
I put my mother's funeral card on my altar in place of the picture of her and my dad. This one is all about here and has her senior picture and one of the last pictures taken of her before she became ill over a year ago. I still haven't watched the dvd of the funeral yet. I'm not sure when I will but I did talk to her last night while I was taking a shower. Not sure about the timing there but I really felt her presence at that moment so it seemed the time to talk. I talked to her about my health situation and how I'm getting better and how, in a way, she saved my life since if I hadn't gone down to see her I probably wouldn't have gotten pneumonia and that wouldn't have manifested itself into congestive heart failure and they wouldn't have done the heart cath and found out that the main artery in my heart was 90% blocked.
I got the sense that she was upset about something. Not necessarily having to do with me, but something nonetheless. I was a bit uncomfortable about that and probably ended the "conversation" before I could figure out what was bothering her. I had an image of her not being where she expected to be but that could just be my imagination. I'm not as keen with my otherworld senses as I used to be. And I would never mention to my sisters or my dad that I talk with Mom, even if it is infrequent. I'm not sure they would understand.
But I have felt a connection with the ancestors lately so I do think I'm on the right track these days. Zach and I are studying up on Druid magic together, although the past couple of days we've been distracted by appointments and being waterless. It doesn't take much to distract us.
So far, the deities that have beckoned to me have done so subtly but definitely. We saw a dark crane or egret slipping into the bushes on our way to the store the other day. I've never seen a dark one before. At least not around here. It was black or nearly so with red-tipped wings. I haven't looked online but I've never seen one like that before.
Also had a hawk swoop down in the back yard the other day. We live on the eastern edge of town, near the city limits so there is a lot of farm land just east of us. And the marsh is about 4 blocks north. We've had deer in the neighborhood, heard coyotes and seen the remnants of a very large predator in the back yard. Some scat the size of bear droppings, although I'm nearly positive it wasn't a bear. Still...looked a lot like what I saw online. But I've never heard of a bear reported in this area. Whatever it was, it was large though. But anyway, we've had hawks in the trees before so it's not unusual, just uncommon.
Other sightings of wildlife in the past few days, too. After a famine of sightings for the past year. It really cheers my heart to see them.
But I still haven't settled on any deities yet. At least not firmly. I'm sure it will happen but I do love that they're not trying to force themselves down my throat. After the last year of feeling like that's what has been going on, it's nice to have some space.
Well, I'm going to go rest a bit and do some reading. After an early morning trip to the cardiologist, followed by rehab, I'm a bit exhausted. But the good news is my EKG looked much more improved since the stent was put in and I've lost 10 pounds in the past 4 weeks. And my energy levels are much higher than they have been in a few years. It's such a nice feeling to be regaining my health.
I found a book on Celtic myths that is amazing. Not because of the myths but because the author acknowledges everything I was saying in my last post. She gets it. She is Miranda Green. There is an initial in there somewhere but I can't be bothered to get up from my comfy seat to go look it up. I look forward to reading this book since she addresses how the Celtic myths don't give any direction to the Celtic religion at all.
I put my mother's funeral card on my altar in place of the picture of her and my dad. This one is all about here and has her senior picture and one of the last pictures taken of her before she became ill over a year ago. I still haven't watched the dvd of the funeral yet. I'm not sure when I will but I did talk to her last night while I was taking a shower. Not sure about the timing there but I really felt her presence at that moment so it seemed the time to talk. I talked to her about my health situation and how I'm getting better and how, in a way, she saved my life since if I hadn't gone down to see her I probably wouldn't have gotten pneumonia and that wouldn't have manifested itself into congestive heart failure and they wouldn't have done the heart cath and found out that the main artery in my heart was 90% blocked.
I got the sense that she was upset about something. Not necessarily having to do with me, but something nonetheless. I was a bit uncomfortable about that and probably ended the "conversation" before I could figure out what was bothering her. I had an image of her not being where she expected to be but that could just be my imagination. I'm not as keen with my otherworld senses as I used to be. And I would never mention to my sisters or my dad that I talk with Mom, even if it is infrequent. I'm not sure they would understand.
But I have felt a connection with the ancestors lately so I do think I'm on the right track these days. Zach and I are studying up on Druid magic together, although the past couple of days we've been distracted by appointments and being waterless. It doesn't take much to distract us.
So far, the deities that have beckoned to me have done so subtly but definitely. We saw a dark crane or egret slipping into the bushes on our way to the store the other day. I've never seen a dark one before. At least not around here. It was black or nearly so with red-tipped wings. I haven't looked online but I've never seen one like that before.
Also had a hawk swoop down in the back yard the other day. We live on the eastern edge of town, near the city limits so there is a lot of farm land just east of us. And the marsh is about 4 blocks north. We've had deer in the neighborhood, heard coyotes and seen the remnants of a very large predator in the back yard. Some scat the size of bear droppings, although I'm nearly positive it wasn't a bear. Still...looked a lot like what I saw online. But I've never heard of a bear reported in this area. Whatever it was, it was large though. But anyway, we've had hawks in the trees before so it's not unusual, just uncommon.
Other sightings of wildlife in the past few days, too. After a famine of sightings for the past year. It really cheers my heart to see them.
But I still haven't settled on any deities yet. At least not firmly. I'm sure it will happen but I do love that they're not trying to force themselves down my throat. After the last year of feeling like that's what has been going on, it's nice to have some space.
Well, I'm going to go rest a bit and do some reading. After an early morning trip to the cardiologist, followed by rehab, I'm a bit exhausted. But the good news is my EKG looked much more improved since the stent was put in and I've lost 10 pounds in the past 4 weeks. And my energy levels are much higher than they have been in a few years. It's such a nice feeling to be regaining my health.
It's so good to hear you're feeling good!
ReplyDeleteI used to talk to my mom when I was in the bathtub. I think I did it because on some level it made me remember the way she cared for me as a child. She would sit at the edge of the tub and listen to me blan on and on about this and that.
Thanks, Curls. I can't say that my relationship with my mom has improved. I don't know if it's me projecting or her communicating from the other side. I definitely still have issues.
DeleteMaybe I just don't sit down and listen enough. I've been so busy lately I haven't had the time. I should make the time.
Good seeing you again!