Zach pointed out today that every time I make a definitive statement about my path, it changes.
Yep.
The Greeks have packed up and left.
I woke up yesterday morning and the house felt eerily empty. I lit my hearth candle and incense and...nothing. I lit Hermes's candle and...nothing. I didn't even try the family altar. It was so dark and cold I couldn't bear it. So, I just waited. I didn't really fret about it because they either come back or they don't. I spent my last tear and bit of angst on Christianity. I won't let any gods tear me apart ever again.
I suppose that makes me a cold-hearted bitch, but when they're here, I'm as passionate and devout as can be. When they leave, I move on. Feeling a bit foolish, perhaps, but I move on.
So...last night while I was debating whether to write about this or not, I heard the whisper from Asgard, which was a bit of a shocker since I've never really considered the Norse gods at all. Okay it wasn't a whisper. More like a battle cry.
I mulled it over and thought it was worth a shot, if they want to come and set up housekeeping for a while. Until....
Zach came in last night and expressed to me how unhappy he is with his agnosticism. He wants to believe in something and the Norse gods really appealed to him in many ways, especially as their culture includes dragons. Nothing surprises me anymore so I wasn't shocked, didn't shout and claim any kind of miracle. I just had one thought in my head: would you convert for someone you loved?
I will admit I have missed having someone to share a spiritual path with, someone to share ritual, prayer and such so we did some research today, found what we were looking for and invited them in. Sure, there are issues with the recons. I don't think any path is free from them. And since we plan on including the Vanir in our worship, we don't want to call ourselves Asatru so ours might be a bit of this and that. Norse Pagan comes close to what we intend.
I kind of wonder if they gods are all showing me what's out there on a rotating basis so I don't get stuck on the wrong path for another 50 years. Or maybe I'm the one to blame. I don't know but I'm not going to worry about it. I just know that one day I was devoted to the Greeks and the next day they were gone and my heart was empty of them. No remorse, no anguish. Just as if a friend had stayed long enough and moved on.
But I do know that yes, I would convert for someone I loved if it didn't mean betraying a principle I believed in. The bonus is, I don't feel like I'm giving anything up. I feel like I'm gaining.
BB
Yep.
The Greeks have packed up and left.
I woke up yesterday morning and the house felt eerily empty. I lit my hearth candle and incense and...nothing. I lit Hermes's candle and...nothing. I didn't even try the family altar. It was so dark and cold I couldn't bear it. So, I just waited. I didn't really fret about it because they either come back or they don't. I spent my last tear and bit of angst on Christianity. I won't let any gods tear me apart ever again.
I suppose that makes me a cold-hearted bitch, but when they're here, I'm as passionate and devout as can be. When they leave, I move on. Feeling a bit foolish, perhaps, but I move on.
So...last night while I was debating whether to write about this or not, I heard the whisper from Asgard, which was a bit of a shocker since I've never really considered the Norse gods at all. Okay it wasn't a whisper. More like a battle cry.
I mulled it over and thought it was worth a shot, if they want to come and set up housekeeping for a while. Until....
Zach came in last night and expressed to me how unhappy he is with his agnosticism. He wants to believe in something and the Norse gods really appealed to him in many ways, especially as their culture includes dragons. Nothing surprises me anymore so I wasn't shocked, didn't shout and claim any kind of miracle. I just had one thought in my head: would you convert for someone you loved?
I will admit I have missed having someone to share a spiritual path with, someone to share ritual, prayer and such so we did some research today, found what we were looking for and invited them in. Sure, there are issues with the recons. I don't think any path is free from them. And since we plan on including the Vanir in our worship, we don't want to call ourselves Asatru so ours might be a bit of this and that. Norse Pagan comes close to what we intend.
I kind of wonder if they gods are all showing me what's out there on a rotating basis so I don't get stuck on the wrong path for another 50 years. Or maybe I'm the one to blame. I don't know but I'm not going to worry about it. I just know that one day I was devoted to the Greeks and the next day they were gone and my heart was empty of them. No remorse, no anguish. Just as if a friend had stayed long enough and moved on.
But I do know that yes, I would convert for someone I loved if it didn't mean betraying a principle I believed in. The bonus is, I don't feel like I'm giving anything up. I feel like I'm gaining.
BB
The Greeks probably high-tailed it back to Greece to help those poor buggers with their Euro monetary crisis. It'll be fun for you and Zach to explore Norse paganism together and see what you find!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of that. I had been reading a discussion on a Hellenic polytheist group where they were getting a bit hot that all Hellenic polytheists should be politically involved in that situation. I left at that point.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, while I love them dearly, maybe it wasn't the best fit. They're a bit Manhattan and I'm rural Wisconsin.
Maybe those Greek gods will be more like friends than lovers. Gods don't always stick around. I have sensed Maponus maybe once in the last six months.But He always, always has my heart. If I never sensed His presence ever again my heart would still expand when I thought of Him.
ReplyDeleteBut if the Greek gods were really your path then I think their absence would have more of an impact on you. Friends and not lovers do you think?
I have always loved the story of Gunlod... Her son reminds me of Maponus :)
Wow, Nellie, that's a great point. I think you're right. I definitely wasn't bothered by them leaving. I guess I just haven't "fallen in love" with the gods yet.
DeleteThanks for giving me a lot to think about. :)
Maybe they are telling you that's all Gods and Goddesses are to be revered and to focus on one is no different than the way your life was for 50 years. Maybe this is their lesson to open up to commune with pantheons from all cultures.
ReplyDeleteThat's possible. I do believe that some gods are the same from culture to culture and most stem from a central location. Other gods are learned from within the cultures themselves. But I tend to view pantheons as a package deal and would have a lot of trouble picking and choosing from different ones. It's a trait both Zach and I share. I'm open to suggestion about all of this, certainly.
DeleteI do wonder, though, as Nellie suggested, that maybe I'm still dating around and can't commit to "going steady" yet. I love the Greeks, but I'm not "in love" with them. Maybe I just need to date around a bit. I was in an abusive relationship for over 50 years after all.
Still, I know I should open up to the idea of not limiting myself. It's just hard.